I feel so lost and lonely

The pain of losing my husband Graham, who died iin December 2019 is just too difficult to take. I try to be brave and know some people are fed up with my outgoing of grief and think I should move on and it’s history. I miss him so much, there’s just mo point in wanting to live anymore.
What can I do with such feelings, I just don’t know how to cope anymore.

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I’m so sorry for your loss, unless somebody has experienced the loss of a partner, they don’t know what you are going through, I lost my husband 8 years ago, I still miss him daily, there is no time limit to grief, you have to take one day at a time, at this time when we can’t see family and friends as we used to is particularly hard, I tried to keep myself busy, luckily I have a dog, which gave me a reason to get up and dressed every morning, and going for a walk in the fresh air did help, I must have cried at some point every day for about 6 months , please be kind to your self, there is no right way to get through this, love and hugs to you.

Hi Pam,
I feel all those feelings you feel. Missing my husband and thinking there’s no point anymore.
It’s so hard to deal with all the horrible painful feelings and also our new unwanted life.
People around us, maybe haven’t experienced such awful loss, and come across as not really wanting to listen anymore, it is upsetting and frustrating when all you want to do is talk about your lovely husband.
Everyone on here are here to listen to you and we won’t get fed up of listening to how you feel - and talk on here as much as you want about your husband we are all listening and we all want to talk and talk about how we feel, there are special people on here that we can talk to ,that we can’t share with people around us
Thinking of you x

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Dear Pam, I understand how you feel, you are not alone. Indeed there are many of us who are also lost and not knowing how to cope without our husbands, our protectors, our best friends. A world that was wonderful when we were together turns into a nightmare we have to endure on our own. Sending love and comfort Barbara x


Dear Pam
I too lost my darling husband in December , the 30th 2019. The pain is still so deep and life seems so pointless without him in it.

I understand your feelings , as I’m sure everyone on here will. The pain of losing your husband is devastating and unless you’ve been there , I don’t think people understand just how hard it is. I feel like I’ve lost myself too, scared, lonely and a pain that’s deep inside of me.
There’s no time limit on grief, and while life goes on all around you, for us it’s stopped. Life as we knew it , taken away
It’s true that people think it’s a while ago, we should move on but it’s no time at all and to top it all we are now in this terrible Pandemic. Alone and afraid.,
This lockdown is unbearable, isolation! I felt isolated enough without this enforced isolation. I know it’s a difficult time for everyone, but I would cope with it if my darling Tony was here with me. We had been in a type of isolation for the last couple of years anyway, due to the illness, IT was hard but we had each other. Now, Not being able to be with my daughters and grandchildren, when needing their comforting hugs is unbearable., going for a walk, seeing couples, families walking together, just hurts so much.

Pam, feel free to write what you feel on here, we all understand and know the pain your going through. It’s tough, Just get through each day as best you can… some days may be better than others, but cry, be angry, whatever you feel is ok. Grief is so painful.

I can say , that things will get easier, never leave you, but more bearable. I speak from experience. Tony was my second darling husband, I lost my first darling husband 20 years ago, I never thought I’d be happy again. But I was , so happy with a wonderful man, who had also lost his wife and we understood each other. Facing this grief a second time is so hard.

Thinking of you, and others who are going through such a devastating loss.

Chris xx

Hi Pam
My husband died in September 2019 and I feel exactly the way you have described; lost, lonely and hopeless. I also have people who think I should move on but it is still early days and no-one can understand what you’re going through unless they’ve been there. I am also struggling to find a new path in life and find it a scary prospect. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you but I do know exactly how you are feeling. Take care, Lynne :heart:

Dear Lynne, I am truly sorry for your loss and suffering. I think ‘moving on’ and ‘moving forward’ are entirely two different things. We can move forward but only in our own time and as grief allows us. As for moving on - never! Why would I want to move on from my husband? He is my heart and soul. It’s impossible for me to move on. But I have moved forward with my husband now in spirit, still beside me every day, knowing a certain happiness and contentment. Not the life I would choose admittedly, but it’s the life I’m left with so I’m trying to make the most of it. I wallow in the love of my husband and my love for him. He is everywhere. He is in everything I do, everywhere I go. :heart: