Mum was 74. She possibly picked up pneumonia from a chest infection i’d picked up. The pneumonia caused a fall. She went into hospital and although she was not well I certainly didn’t think it was life threatening. She had a sudden drop in oxygen two hours after i left her, which resulted in a massive heart attack. (She was not hooked up to any monitoring machinery and was tucked away in a corner. I have no idea how long it took them to find her in that condition.) They brought her back after eight and half minutes. They re-started her breathing, but she was in some sort of coma.They told me there was nothing they could do. She passed away under 24 hours later. I just didn’t expect it. I knew she was getting older. I think she was unlucky. Without picking up something she might have lasted a while longer. I have to hope in an afterlife, where I might see her again. I intend to keep talking to her until, I no longer feel the need. There’s Mum stuff all over the house. I’m not going to throw anything away, until I’m grieving less. It so sad the stuff they never got to fully use and appreciate. I’d be happy with just ten seconds more, just to throw my arms around my Mum and tell her I love her.
74 is no age at all is it? And such a sudden death as well. I know its good for them but for us its so tragic.
My mum was 74 too and we thought we would have her for 15 to 20 more years. She had slowed down the last year but we put this down to a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis 18 months earlier. Apart from this she was doing great and let nothing stop her. That’s why it’s such a shock that a stroke wiped her out. She never even got colds and flu when the rest of the house were ill.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s good to hear about other peoples experiences even though I know its painful. I seem to be surrounded by people who have parents well into their 80s and 90s still going strong.
I cant help but feel bitter. X
I look around and see mothers and daughters together. It’s hard. I just feel very sad that I had not told her more clearly how very dear she was too me. Your right it a great shame that the did not make it into their 80’s or 90’s.
Daffy,
I dont know what sort of relationship you had with your mum but I’m guessing it was good and your mum would have known how much she meant to you.
I had my mum for 48 years and we never once told each other we loved one another, which I do find strange sometimes as I’m always telling my daughter and she tells me. However, my mum and I adored each other and both knew how much each other meant. We weren’t a cuddly, lovey dovey family and we were best when laughing at each other, but there was no doubt how close we were. Mum would know exactly how I have reacted to her death. I cried saying goodbye to her in the hospital and she was only going in for an outpatient procedure. No one knew she wouldn’t be coming home.
You dont need to feel bad for not telling her this stuff. They were of a generation where words weren’t really important, it was our actions that showed our love.
They knew we loved them very, very much x