I haven’t posted for ages as I have felt like I was coping pretty well but now with the dark mornings and evenings, colder weather and Christmas season upon us, I am back!
December used to be my favourite month but now all I feel is anger and sadness. Anger at myself for being so sad and such a downer all the time but also angry and sad as Dad isn’t around anymore! I don’t feel as though I have anyone to talk to as people seem to just be getting on with it. I am so lonely!
It will be two years in January since Dad very suddenly died and I just don’t know how to move on! I feel it more when all the family are together celebrating birthdays and other events but continue to smile through it all until I am left alone at night when I can’t sleep!
I just want to fast forward a couple of months when I start to come out of the fog ahead of me!