I hant to die

Die…I want

Hi Kerry

Please, rant and vent on this site as much as you feel able. The days are incredibly hard - not going to lie - that’s why I take one day at a time. And when I feel I am drowning in grief, hanging by my finger nails I take it hour by hour.

Sheila xxxxx


Hi Kerry,

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.

You deserve care and support so please, Kerry, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Online Community team


I lost my husband recently, not due to covid but because of covid. I totally understand how you feel, but would he want you to feel like this?
I don’t know anything but about you, but do you have children? Do you have friends? None of the people around you, neighbours, friends, family, would ever forget you if you did that. They would always remember and blame themselves. Suicide is like that. It sends ripples through the entire community. You must have a GP - your GP would be devastated, and so would all the practice staff. I heard of a suicide locally, and eventually met the mother of the man involved - she worked at the local post office and we’d known each other for years. I told her what had happened to me, because over the last 2 years we had a resident of a local care home who came running to our home - 2 miles away, in her nightgown because she said she was being battered at the care home. It took us 4 months to sort that out, the local police, ambulance service, CQC were all involved.
In any case. that’s what I mean. In any community, the ripples of suicide send a shock ave through the whole community.
The man - a 35 year old who was a party boy, went to Ibiza every year and his parents knew he took drugs. He always came back fine, but then in 2019, he came back and he was not OK. They were watching him, and suddenly he ended his life. The ambulance arrived, the air ambulance arrived, but after about an hour his family was told that he was dead.
I am so sorry for how you are feeling. I think we all have thoughts of suicide after we lose a life partner.
But please, please don’t do it.

With love,

Christie xxx

1 Like

I feel the same don’t want to be here
Getting drunk all the time
Hoping I won’t wake up
Big hugs xx


Sending you lots of strength @Kerry4 and @Debbie55. You are not alone in what you are going through, we’re always here anytime you need someone to talk to.

Debbie it sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time and struggling with suicidal thoughts too. I wanted to share a few more signposts to follow on from Mick’s post which you might want to reach out to anytime things get too much. There’s lots of people out there to help you through this and they are always just a call or text away anytime you need them.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text Shout to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • Stay Alive App - is an app that offers useful information to help you stay safe. It’s available on Android, Apple and Desktop.

Remember if you have any concerns for your health or safety and feel like you might act on any of these thoughts you’re having, you can always call 999.

Keep us updated with how you’re feeling :yellow_heart:

Thank you
Spoke to my doctor today
But thank you x


@Debbie55 I just wanted to check in with you, since it’s been a while since your posts.
I hope your doctor was helpful, and I can understand why your situation may feel hopeless.
Each hour and day you carry on shows great strength. I hope you’ve been able to access some good support to help you through this difficult time.
Sending you many blessings

Hello Bridget
Doctor been helpful but doesn’t take away the pain we are all suffering
Still drinking far to much
But I have made some lovely friends on this chat one lady I speak to everyday we call each other she been a really big help
Please take care x


No, unfortunately there’s no magic wand - I wish there was. My mummy died of covid on 10th January and then my grandad of pneumonia on 17th January. I cannot describe the pain I feel at losing the 2 most important people in my family in that way. And with covid we were not able to be with them. I would give anything to have been able to hold their hands and tell them how much I loved them…
Sorry crying again…

Don’t be sorry I cry all the time
Lady who I talk to everyday listen to me sob all the time
It so hard to carry on I hate this life now
Take care and text anytime xx

Thanks @Debbie55

I have just read your post
I wander How you are feeling now and jow you are getting on

Havd you manage to talk with the Samaritans
I am here if yoy want to chat

Keep in touch