I thought that after three years I would be able to cope. I have coped with birthdays, anniversaries etc. But summer has finally broken me. We have had a few good days and today I took a glass of red out onto the patio. Some 60’s 70’s music from a brilliant station I have found for us ‘boomers’. Why?? There was no one there, no one to talk to. Vic wasn’t with me to enjoy the evening sun. Even the dog took one look at me sobbing and went inside. I can’t see this pain ever ending. If it wasn’t for that said dog I would be ready to join Vic. I’ll probably feel better tomorrow but tonight I feel back to square one.
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At only 87 days since my beloved died, I have no words of comfort for you I’m afraid. Going through this is just horrible and o can picture the scene you’ve pained and it’s just sad. I’ve had an awful day for various reasons, the sunshine has contributed to my low mood though as I know what we’d be doing, but instead of a nice day out I’m crying and feeling lost. I wish it wasn’t so for me, you or any of us.
I’m going to have a bath, read a few pages of my book and hopefully sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day.
Sending love for a better day tomorrow. Xx
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Yes, I’ve found the summer far more difficult than winter was. The sounds of people enjoying themselves in their gardens, walking together down the lane, it kind of reinforces the loneliness.
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Hi @nidrigirl I’m so sorry that you are feeling down. Usually the sun shining made things better but without our loved ones to enjoy it with it just sucks. It’s just over two years for me and I wish for things to inprove but finding it very difficult. I’m here if you need to talk.X
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Thanks Loobyloo. We used to love the sun. We lived abroad for years. But that was ‘us’. Now it’s just ‘me’ and I have to find a new way to live but at 77 I’m finding it difficult. A year ago I wouldn’t have thought of moving forward so I suppose there is progress. I have a very reactive rescue dog. She has been my reason for living these last three years but now I’m hoping that we can make progress on meeting new people otherwise we’re not going anywhere. Love me love my dog. 
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It’s very early days for me, and I dread winter sitting in the house cold and alone.
But in summer there is more going on to distract me.
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In the winter I just curl up in bed for most of the time and hibernate. But this summer I have wanted to feel alive. Tiny steps.
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