I’m in year 2 after losing my husband and it’s awful. I can cope during the week, I can go out, I walk my dog, see my son or sister. I have very few friends so family are my lifeline but they need time for their families too My Friday nights are worst. I eat my way through anything that’s in the house, so I’ve stopped shopping for the weekend. But today I called into Birds for a weekend treat. Now I’ve eaten a rhubarb tart, a custard tart and a family sized quiche and I wasn’t even hungry. Before you judge me, it was over a period of 7 hours. I am totally disgusted with myself. I can be good all week, I just don’t know what to do with my weekends. I sometimes think I’m mad, but I know I’m just really down , depressed and grieving. I need help and advice. I am not very outgoing, quite shy , not sporty, just taken up painting , but not ready to join in group activities. It feels wrong to start new things and enjoy life without my husband, we always did everything together
Hello @JayZ,
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and how you are feeling especially at the weekends. It’s really normal to feel lonely and lost when we’re grieving. It may help to read some recent conversations from our members about coping with loneliness. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this.
You might also find our resource on loneliness after a bereavement especially helpful right now.
Sue Ryder has just launched our Grief Kind Spaces.
Our Grief Kind Spaces are weekly, in-person drop-in sessions held in the local community and run by trained volunteers. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone.
If you’re not in an area with a Grief Kind space, or are looking for a different kind of support, you might want to check out the AtALoss website. It is a directory of bereavement support, including support groups when you feel ready. If you click this link then select your region, you can see what bereavement support is available in your area.
Please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take good care of yourself 
Alex
You’re certainly not judged just understood!
It is soooooo very hard.
We need peace but avades us!
I had particulary rough few days, still not great and managed to gain half a stone in about 4 days! Only noticed cause things were feeling snug! I joked to my husband’s photo, they’ll be cutting me out of this house rare I am going!
So yes I am the same fat, sad and lost! What a way to be!
Hugs x
@JayZ JayZHello it sounds just likea form of comfort eating due what’s happened which is completely normal.
It’s just a subconscious coping mechanism to cope with the trauma of loosing them and no one will ever be judging you.There’s so much inner turmoil to deal with moment by moment of each hour of each day and the emptiness one can feel is almost sound destroying.
You’re part of a grieving community on here that both understand and can relate to what you’re going through.
Someone I know lost his mother last year and has gain a great deal of weight since all for the very same reason.Food consumption due to bereavement,depression,anxiety,mental illness ect are all part of trying to find ways to numb the pain and more and even I find myself wanting to eat the house down since my mum passed.
Your definitely in the right forum and iam sorry for you loss.May you find the strength to get through each moment of each hour of each day.
@JayZ
Yes, I’m in year 2 too. But I’ve been a comfort eater for more than a dozen years (my husband was ill with an incurable cancer for just over a decade) so can fully relate to that. Sometimes only junk will do (for me it’s crisps and biscuits, luckily I don’t like cake), and it’s nothing to do with hunger…. even though I have tried to keep replacement treats in the house, fruit, nuts etc…. but then I can get through several packs of grapes a week and I have no off switch if I open a packet of nuts. I’m shy/quiet too, with dodgy hearing so group activities with lots of new people is very challenging. So I’m a bit useless for you for advice sorry, but I do sympathise and get it certainly.
I’ve started a volunteer job that I do on occasional weekends, it gets me out of the house and seeing people. I work during the week so that is ok. I also go to yoga classes on weekends. I hate being at home on my own. xx
I truly understand your feeings. My husband died 2 and a half years ago. Weekends are the worst. I’m a hermit then. I don’t want to go out or see people because thats when couples are together and out. It’s so hard so I stay in, summertime isn’t so bad because I can do gardening. Just do what you need to do to feel safe and not push yourself if your not ready. The first 2 years are done in total numbness, after that you have to face the brutal fact that they are not coming back and its harder, much harder.x