I cannot come to terms with losing my 3 children to cancer
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Hi Liz, I am so sorry for you. Losing your children like that must be a horrendous thing. I have nothing to say to help as the enormity of your bereavement is unimaginable. I always remember my poor aunt whose son, my cousin was born with cancer and died at seven how she suffered. I hope you find some solace here as there are many lovely people who post. My wife died four months ago to the day and she had bile duct cancer for two years before that so I understand a little of what you have had to faced.
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom 
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Hi Tom , Let me first say how sorry I am for the loss of your wife…I really hope you are looking after yourself .,that is the first thing your wife would want you to do .
I thought when I lost my beloved daughter it was the end of the world, my two sons were so good at helping to look after her with me, they emptied sick buckets and carried her upstairs and tried to encourage her to eat with tasty bits ., I was so overwhelmed by them and their love for her.She had pancreatic cancer for 2 years.losing her was indescribable pain… Then 8 months later my lovely son was diagnosed with bone cancer, another horrific 12 months.
Then 12 months after that my beloved son was diagnosed with bowel cancer which spread .He passed away last May…I don’t know if telling you all this has helped me or not ..I really hope it doesn’t depress you Tom.You sound like a very caring person - and thank you so much for getting in touch . Take care. Liz
Tom,
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Hi Liz, the whole point of this site is to be able to express yourself, your worries and other issues you have. It helps because we are all suffering in one way or another and understand the need to express our feelings. I have found it very valuable as I don’t have anyone to talk to.
Unfortunately my wife met a lot of lovely people during her illness and most of them have died, many of them were in their twenties and thirties. As she used to teach young adults she made friends easily with this age group of people. It broke her heart to see them die from this horrible disease.
I can’t imagine how you have coped with your children falling to this illness one after another. I really hope you find some relief
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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I am really sorry for your loss , I can’t imagine what you must be going through. No parent should ever have to go through this . We have had a lot of family losses in the last 5 years . My sister July 2020 soon after my other sister lost her son followed by her daughter then her husband 3 months later . Since then we have lost my other brother in law and more recently my husband. Who suddenly from a heart attack. My sister who lost most of her family has since been diagnosed with dementia and is now in a care home . Look after yourself 
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Yes you are right Tom - I have always kept my grief to myself- so I suppose it’s time I shared it.
I haven’t want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable, ,but I think maybe I have done the right thing by airing my grief .. Bless you and take care . Regards Liz
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Hi , thank you so much for your message, your family has certainly been through the mill !!
I really hope you start to heal , my thought are with you, please look after yourself . Regards Liz
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Thank you @Liz82
I have found this website to be godsend as everyone on here understands, and are so supportive. I hope you get have the same experience on this site . Look after yourself
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Thank you Sherbert, this is the first time I have written my feelings down, i didn’t think it would help- but I now think maybe it has .. take care
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Maybe you can look for a bereavement cafe or bereavement counselling. I attend a bereavement cafe run by a local church you don’t have to be religious to attend. I have also had cruise counselling. I have benefited from both of them . Look after yourself
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Hi , I live in St. Asaph there doesn’t seem to be anything of that nature here.
I will just plod on trying to get my head around it. I keep asking WHY as they all had different cancers and it wasn’t genetic.
Anyway thanks for your advice , I will look into these cafes more . Please take care .
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There are talking tables or chatty cafes you could try . Are you could ask your gp if they have any information about support groups . Some hospice run them look after your self .
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Hi Liz. In St Kentigern Hospice they have bereavement support. There is also Help2Heal counselling in St. Asaph.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi Tom , my doctor suggested I go to St. Kentigens. I went weekly for 3 months- she was a lovely lady but with not ever losing a child she really wasn’t on the same level
I lost my husband to cancer , my brother and of course I’ve lost my parents.
The pain was bad enough losing them , but nothing compared to losing my children. One would have been bad enough but three —sorry Tom.
I know there are lots of people out there suffering . and my heart goes out to them.. sorrow to vent my sorrow onto you . Liz .
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Hi Liz, no need to say sorry you are quite welcome to venta away. You have had so many bereavements, my heart goes out to you. I hope being able to chat on here helps even if it’s just a little.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Thank you for understanding - I usually keep things to myself, I am afraid once I start opening up to people I will never stop.. I feel so lost without them, they were my life.
I hope you can find some peace in your heart.. Liz
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Hi Liz82
Firstly I’m so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful children.
Our children are our worlds and losing them is so unbearable 
.
I lost my beautiful daughter Elizabeth aged 31yrs in April 2025 to SUDEP. I found Elizabeth on her bedroom floor in her flat that horrendous day and I relive it daily. I just pray the day comes soon that I can be holding her again.
Everyone on here are fantastic and really understand what your going through each day. Grief is so deeply painful and only those who have gone through child loss knows what were feeling.
Im always available for a chat.
Take care
Sharon. Xx
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Brandon 1
Hi Tom please except my sincere condolences for your loss of your beautiful wife.
Losing a loved one is so deeply painful and grief is ongoing.
I hope your looking after yourself as im sure your wife would want you to.
I lost my beautiful precious daughter Elizabeth aged 31yrs in April 2025 to SUDEP. My world stopped that day and im now just existing until I can hold her again I pray it will be soon.
Everyone on here is fantastic and we all vent our feelings and everyone will listen.
Sending virtual hugs
Sharon x
Dear Sharon, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter Elizabeth. I can’t imagine how you must have had to suffer. I hope you receive some peace. Wishing you all the best
Tom
Hi Liz, I m so sorry, losing three children is a terrible thing to have happened. I hope you have had support from others in your family. You can post your feelings on this site, that’s what it’s for. I know it’s not the same but I lost my partner of 40 years 7 months ago.
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