I have recently lost my partner suddenly.
Hi CFC85, Sorry for your loss. I lost my wife suddenly just over a year ago. It is such a shock. People on this site are going through this hard experience so understand how you feel. I have found chatting on here has helped me. So please come on and chat, rant or have a ramble about your feelings, I find that it makes me feel better.
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I am truly so sorry for your loss.
Hi i lost my partner of 16yrs 7 weeks ago to cancer it is so hard to try and make sense of it all as it still doesn’t seem real. Im going back to work nxt month and it seems so daunting as i looked after him for the past 15mths but i know i have to do it x
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I was so sorry to hear of your lossLynn7.i lost my dear wife in february.i had to take 4 weeks off work then had to go back,i couldnt live on sick pay.i didnt really want to go back,i was and still am mentally and emotionally drained.we had been married 36 years and had a rare blood condition which was hereditary.i am broken hearted,she was my everthing,i loved her with all my heart.i agree with you,its so hard to try and make sense of it all,its like a bad dream.i hope you get on ok going back to work.i work at a family run farm shop and they were very supportive.one of the hardest things is coming back to an empty house ,the silence and lonelliness.take good care of yourself
Sorry to hear about your wife and thankyou for your kind words . Im fortunate enough to have good family and working for the NHS as ive had 4mths off work they have been really supportive. I go out because the house is so quiet but its just the same coming back we cant win can we. I understand you feeling emotionally drained she was a big part of your life for many years and its hard adjusting to this life weve found ourselves in but you will get there just keep talking and getting your emotions out take care
Thank you Lynn7 its so difficult coming back to the empty house,that is really difficult.everything i find so difficult at the moment.thank you for the nice message,everyone is so kind on here.
Your welcome just keep talking when you feel low were all in the same position
I’m so sorry to have just read this but I’m glad that you have been able to reach out and post on this forum.
Nearly 7 months after losing my husband, I still find it difficult to post about it so, in my eyes, you’ve been extremely brave and I think there may well be others here who agree with that.
This really is a fantastic community - although I’m sure nobody would choose the circumstances that they found themselves here. None of us will have experienced exactly the same things, but there are many similarities that crop up and knowing that it’s possible to speak openly and honestly without any fear of judgement certainly helps me to feel a tiny bit less alone.
I hope that you will find some benefit, if not comfort from being a part of the community.
Kittywitz
That was a lovely message.I agree with you about the community on here.We are all going through the same proccesses trying to make some sense of the what has happened to us.We all have different circumstances with how things happened.With me the lonelliness is so hard to bear,the emptyness,Knowing i will never be able to share anything again with my dear wife.We had no children,i dont have any brothers or sisters,its just me.its 4 months since my dear wife left and its still so raw,so painfull.ive gone back to work but coming back to the empty house is so hard.Thank you to everyone on this site for helping with this heavy burden to carry.Its just so painfull and the emotions can hit you anytime anywhere.
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My husband passed away almost 6 weeks and being in the house alone when its quiet is so upsetting. I went back to work part time on Monday but have struggled with coming home to an empty house. I have two daughters at home but they work and have their own stuff going on. Its so sad being here alone 
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Aww brummy, I only wish that there was a way to express how much I feel for everyone who’s going through such trauma. Every time I try to put it into words it sounds so clichéd or it turns into me telling my story which wasn’t what I’d intended to do.
None of us can identify completely with anybody else except for the fact that we’ll all have a gaping chasm that we’re attempting to live with and knowing that others feel similar is so awful.
I’ve never been lost for words before (usually the right or relevant ones) but I can’t express my own feelings about all of this properly so I wouldn’t dream of trying to do so when it comes to other people.
My husband passed away on November 22nd last year and thr last few weeks have been horrendous. I honestly didn’t think I could feel worse than I had been doing, but the 6 months anniversary on the 22nd followed by his birthday which is the 26th and was a Bank Holiday (which was an extra bit of salt to rub into the wound because the 26th was the Bank Holiday in the year he was born) was quite a rough few days and - rather naively - I thought that, after meeting up with our adult daughters and their families on both the Sunday and Monday, things would calm down a little inside. But it seems as though every few hours it’s still getting harder.
With Father’s Day coming up I’m really feeling for our girls and their children too. All I can do is say that I’m here for them if they want or need me and that if that might be hard for them, to make sure they turn to one another or their husbands/partners and give all the grandchildren what support they can too.
I’m unable to work due to long-standing health problems (Jim had been my carer for approximately 25 years until the roles reversed - or rather we sort of cared for and supported each other) so now there’s just me knocking about in the bungalow that we’d moved to 2 years ago so I could do more to help him. Neither of us dreamed that he’d only be able to live here for a little over 18 months. It’s never really felt like “home” but more of a holding place until he was better and we could make it a home together or move somewhere else.
I can’t get out often, partly because of my health and partly because our cat and dog are both elderly and need someone around every couple of hours. I’m just at a total loss and the loneliness, as you say, is horrific.
My mind seems to have gone haywire. My memory is terrible, especially for recent events or whatever I’m trying to do at any given time and I seem to have lost the ability to work anything out at all. I’m still trying to get my outgoings written down so I can sort out some kind of budget. But I get confused after just a few minutes then get very frustrated with myself. Ive had checks with the GP, a scan and seen someone from the Memory Clinic and they have said that it is caused by grief. Well, initially caused by “prolonged excessive stress” and then worsened because of losing Jim.
So trying to sort anything at all out, whether it’s practical, paperwork, clerical/admin type phone calls and emails, shopping etc is becoming a nightmare that seems to get darker with time rather than easier.
I’m holding onto the hope that what so many people say about grief and loss becoming something that’s a part of your life rather than something that just takes it over. I cant imagine it, but that seems to be the general concensus of opinion. I hope that you (as well as everyone else who is feeling the pain) will find the same in time too.
Although I don’t come on the community often, it is such a huge reassurance that it’s here. It’s not good to know that others are suffering but at the same time, it means that none of us are completely cut off and there are others who understand.
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Kafebrown, I’m sorry to hear about your husband.
Iv’e just replied to brummy on this thead and then saw your message. I wish I had seen it before because I would have addressed it to you both. If you get the chance to read it, please believe that I would have written the same to yourself. I don’t want to spam the thread with the same content more than once amd I cant find a way to edit the reply I sent.
My thoughts are with you snd I genuinely hope that, for us all, we will learn to live with this somehow in time.
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Thank you for your lovely messageKittywitz.I really appreciated what you said.Even though my dear wife passed in february the grief is still so raw.the empty house is awfull,the lonelliness.nighttime,bedtime is difficult too.no more hugs no more goodnight kiss.I long to hold her hand again but its not to be.
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