Hi all 
, I was just wondering …. I am 20 months into this journey and sometimes I just have to put pictures of my mum away. It feels so awful to do it but with them there all the time it really deepens my sadness and sometimes I need a break. Does that sound familiar to anyone? I have been so so down this week 
I’ve not been well and miss her kind words. X
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Hi @Anne62
I know the feeling, when my mom first passed, it took time for the shock to sink in, my brain kept blocking things, & it took time to acknowledge that she was gone. It doesn’t sound bad that you feel you need to put the photos away for now, the reminder must be very painful for you. I can say from experience that, in grief, emotions tend to come in waves, sometimes sad for what we’ve lost, sometimes remembering happier times, sometimes nervous or anxious about the changes this makes in our lives, what it means for our future, there can be moments of happiness when we remember some memories, or quirks they had, or how proud we are of them. When we love someone, we carry them in our hearts forever, so they will never truly leave us, they’re there in spirit. It’s like the weather, we all have our rainy days, but it can’t rain forever, the sun will shine again. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs of support.
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Thank you for the reminder that is comes like the weather. ANd that they are always in our hearts and part of us. That was very helpful. Sometimes you can get so disoriented in the sadness and trying to survive the pain it’s great to have reminders like this. Xx
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I can totally relate to how painful it can be, im finding photos hard to look at too.
I think its so hard to accept this new reality.
Grief certainly creeps up on me, I think i am alright then a trigger(My mums flat, nearly sold)asked to sign contracts this week. Has sent me over the edge, the feelings have all reappeared. And im crying like it happened yesterday.
Hugs to you
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I too have struggled with photos. Initially i put some up in my lounge after mum died, but I was finding they made me sadder. If i was watching tv and distracted for a time, i would then catch the photo and it would hit me all over again, and that was happened multiple times in a short space of time. Ive just moved them for now so they are not in constant view. I dont feel bad for doing that as i know mum would understand
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I am the same its been year and a half since losing mum and i just cant do it. It hurts me so much .people i speak to always say oh i have to have photos up but i never come across anyone who cant so i truly know how you and others here feel . I wish i could put the photos up will try again one day x
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i buried my mum on june 4th
and have just been taking it day by day an i have had to put my photos of mum away for the same reason
and i felt bad for doing it too
but it’s just so painful seeing her there
reminding me every day
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Thanks for your reply. I am able to watch videos of her in recent times and hear recordings of her singing. It does bring me comfort but at first I really couldn’t face it. It was like some reality distortion in my brain hearing her and seeing her alive. I couldn’t look at photos for a while. I change on this matter day to day. After I wrote this post I moved them and then moved back again. Omg! It’s just crazy. But I’m relieved to hear it’s not just me finding it hard. Sending hugs. X
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I think like Loubeelou says - our mums would probably understand. I sometimes think well what would mum done if it was me who went first? lol. My brain says she would have a photo of me but she lost my brother when I was very young and his photos where on those old photo cubes and he was not always facing the front. It’s nice to have other things than photos too isn’t it? I have one of her teddies on my bed and an I Love Mum cushion I bought her for Mother’s Day a few years ago. I guess those things ‘count’ as an expression of love for them too. Not to mention all the things we keep even if we don’t look at them. So no need to feel guilty about it - I am telling myself here by the way not you. Just thinking out loud! x
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I think you are right see my reply above where I think our expression of love is also in all the things that we keep that belong to our mums. Doesn’t have to be a photo.x
my mum was a crochet queen we are a big family and we have lots of beautiful things she made
she made all her grand children a christening shawl
my youngest daughter was unable to have children
she still made one for her and kept it
my daughter is going to collect it and give it to her brother
who mum hadn’t got round to making one for
i gave mum a gold necklace many years ago
and she never took it off
my brother gave it to me
i have it on and will never take it off
so yes thank you for reminding me we have many other treasures to hold of mums x x x
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