Hello, I’m new to this but I’m struggling so much at the moment, I lost my Dad 24 years ago and it hurts as much today as it did then, I also lost my Mum 11 years ago and my boyfriend has just been diagnosed End of Life and is so poorly right now. I know I sound unbelievably selfish but I am struggling so much and trying desperately to keep it all in as I don’t want my bf worrying about me when he is going through so much. I know there is nothing I can do as all the top consultants etc can’t do anything so how can I?? I just don’t want to lose him too. I know that is awful thinking about myself when he is going through so much but it really is unbearable 
You don’t sound selfish at all, @Cazzb, it’s completely understandable that you would be struggling. It’s difficult enough coping when someone we love is terminally ill and it sounds like it is bringing up feelings around your mum and dad, too. You are coping with a lot, and you deserve care and support.
Marie Curie have a support line for anyone who is living with or caring for someone who has a terminal illness, or have experienced a bereavement. You can call them on 0800 090 2309 or book a call. Their lines are open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday, and 11am – 5pm on Saturdays.
You may also be experiencing anticipatory grief, which is grief while someone is still alive. Our support page explains more and has some ideas on how to cope.
Please do keep reaching out and take care,
Seaneen
Thankyou so much for your reply, advice and lovely, kind words. I will try and get chance to call and speak to someone
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Hi I absolutely know how you feel 15 months ago my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer he had radiotherapy and 6 rounds of chemo then an op he was cancer free he started getting pain in his tummy and hospital were treating him for a twisted bowel well that was there diagnosis after numerous X-rays and scans so they operated and he went downhill couldn’t eat lost a lot of weight till his last hospital app in September 2023 when we were told it was cancer in his small bowel given how much weight he had lost there was no treatment given so we came home and I cared for him till he passed 15th nov he was 51 years old it’s so hard without him I miss him so much so I’ve just kept myself busy I have an 11 year old son and recently got a little puppy she has helped us so much I’m sending you a massive hug my inbox is open if you ever want to chat xx
Awwwwww bless you that is so sad for you, I apologise I am at work and just going back after my break, I will reply to you properly when I finish later, Thankyou so much for reply to me xx
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