That’s special and true love. I’m very sorry for your loss., and understand your pain and yearning. The wrench in the pit of the stomach and the pain in the heart that feels like its going to explode. I have no words of wisdom, just that, taking each day as it comes and existing in moments.
People have said I should feel grateful for having a love that not many people find. I just feel robbed. We had 30yrs, 10 as friends and 20 married, we met late, but should have had another 25/30 yrs at least.
It is very hard something we will never get over l miss my husband so much. But if you got children you have to try to be strong for them although it’s really hard
So sorry for your loss lv only just joined this group and lm finding it helpful is better when you can talk to people that’s going through the same this as you but l don’t sleep good and don’t see anyone to talk to at night
Advice anyone… how do we respond to those that bump in to us and say; you look really well…” when you are breaking and desolate inside. You try and be honest and say, I’m lost’ actually. Answer: He wouldn’t want you to feel this way… “ Inner scream
Like you, I hate it when people say that to me as it sounds so patronising. I have been known to reply ‘well he didn’t want to die but it still happened’. Not one of my finer moments I know!
Say it as it is. I feel like saying; how would you know what he would want, you didn’t even know him. Yeah, I’ll flick that switch now’, since you have said that; I feel like saying. I’ll be that jolly automaton. I actually think my grief intense as it remains, would make my Beloved think; there, see how much she loves me…”
Completely understand how you are feeling. When people say those sort of things to me I am screaming inside. I want to say ‘ so how long have you been widowed for ?’ Or something similar, but of course I don’t. Another one is ‘your doing ever so well ‘. How on earth can they know whether I am doing well or not unless they have suffered deep grief ?. I almost feel I am infectious at times when people stay away or look the other way. At least by saying how you really are it will stop them from asking you in the future, and maybe they will think twice before making inappropriate comments to others who are suffering as we are the next time they speak to someone who is grieving.
I know that I am fortunate to have three kind and caring sons which others may not have. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have a rant, always good to let out how you really feel !
I really understand where you’re coming from. It’s just over 2 months since I lost my partner. The emotional pain is awful. I will be glad when Christmas is past as all I see are happy people looking forward to the day. My partner loved Christmas both the retail and the religious side. Yesterday I was considering putting up the little Nativity crib, but today I can’t bring myself to open the box. I think I will find it too upsetting. This is a really bad day. Hope you find some peace.
I’m at 10 months now. He died in the month of my birthday, before it. I received a gift that he had someone make me. It broke my heart even more. I’ve had his birthday and wedding anniversary, and now 1st Christmas.
I’ve been given meds as I’m not coping.
I go silent and just stare at people who make those comments. It makes them awkward, well, they need to stop saying the things that everyone says.
Sorry for your loss it’s terrible l know exactly what your feeling l just came up my for 3 days but l see couples together and miss my husband he passed suddenly in October this year
So sorry that you are going through this awful pain. It hurts so much and like you when I see other couples together it just makes it so much worse, but then I think of how very fortunate I have been to have known true love. Some will have never known love and just because a couple are together when you see them doesn’t necessarily mean there is the depth of love that both you and I have known. Sorry to preach , just really trying to make you aware that so many of us on here understand your loss and are here to listen . Take good care of yourself.
To all the wonderful women on here who are in pain.
I found that continual sobbing, watching vids and photos of him helped, even though they broke my heart. I suppose I was trying to de-sensitize myself.
I still cry now, but not as much, I get a strange feeling, like I can’t cry.
Please try and be kind to yourselves, and do what YOU want to do. I’m locking myself away and doing fur baby walks and that’s it, till it’s all over.
Oh my goodness, myself and many others do feel the same. Lost is totally ‘it’ and no words can really express it. Usually at this time my eyes well up and it’s difficult to speak so that in itself usually tells them you’re screaming inside with an unbearable pain. Most people mean well which is good in itself. Just be true to yourself and minute by minute above all else, look after yourself, and I say this having not enjoyed one bit of food since my recent bereavement. You have to walk in those shoes b4 you really know. I wish you comfort and wellbeing and don’t be hard on yrself. X Anna
I’m so glad that’s over! It was so painful, as I’m sure it was for all of you.
I invited an estranged friend to dinner, it ensured I cooked and ate, and it helped us both as she has a broken heart too, not in the same way, but it’s loss after many years.
Spent the rest of the time alone, at home, with my thoughts. The yearning is unbearable, but I feel close to him here.
This will be my state for the rest of my life, my significant other, my soul mate is on another plane and it hurts like hell.
Wishing you all the strength to bear this pain as best you can.
something we will never get over l miss my husband so much. But if you got children you have to try to be strong for them although it’s really hard