I lost my husband over four years ago and yet, I think about him all the time. I’ve never stopped…..
Often I just feel like screaming as the grief is tearing me up inside.
I just want him, and our life together, back. I get through each day and dread waking up to a silent house. I often go to bed late and then the morning won’t come so soon.
I’ve tried everything (including medication) and yet, I still feel so alone and sad. I keep myself busy with volunteering and friends but deep down, I know I’m only half the person I used to be.
I don’t look forward to anything and most of the time I feel as if I’m on auto pilot. Each day is just a day to keep busy and occupied, nothing more.
I can’t really confide in anyone anymore as they’ve all had enough of me. And who could blame them after four years…
Perhaps I should try more counselling but I don’t know if I can cope with what that entails again.
I often wonder why I’m not coping any better as the reality is that I’m still a mess ….
I’m 2 years down the line but can exactly relate to how you feel. I think about my husband and our life together every minute of the day. All I can say is that my grief has not diminished, I’m just trying to fill my life with other activities which it sounds like you are trying to do. I guess I just wanted to say I share your pain but we have no choice but to try to get through each day. Take care x
I’m sorry you feel the same as I do as I know how hard life can be at times.
I thought after four years I would be in a better place, but over the last couple of months I seem to have gone backwards. Perhaps it’s the long dark nights which exacerbates my feelings of loneliness and emptiness …..
I feel the same after 7 months but I’m sure no matter how long I live I will always feel this way. I loved my old life with my beloved husband of 54 years and the one without him is full of sadness no matter how wonderful my family and friends are. I just miss him and my old life with him so much!!! I never expected this.
its been over 3 yrs and although i still miss hubby of 47 yrs, and i wish he was here and think about him all the time, the crying stopped yrs ago, life moves on no matter how much we want the old life back.
i have my card for him at xmas, will stand on his ashes with the others.
Yesterday i read a New York post that says: widows live a happy & healthier life compared to married women and I realized that people just wake up and decide to post random things.how is Losing a husband , a man i looked at & felt like, he is the one that God made out of his image ,he is a pure image of God make me healthier & happier,??
I understand your feeling,the world is too busy, people are too occupied they get fedup very fast. Let’s continue believing for peace .
Hi Trixie. I feel like this too. On the inside. There isn’t a time limit for this. I am just over two years on. The feeling like screaming thing I can relate to. It is not up to us (people who are actually grieving) to manage the emotions of others. My feeling is: if they cannot accept me as I truely am, it is their problem. The trouble is I seem so cheerful. But it is a way to be like him, my husband. I emulate his courage and humour, because he is the better part of me. But perhaps if I did have a public crying fit it might help. Not sure about other people… But I might feel better.
Right now, really dislike all the Christmassy stuff. It is depressing. I will be glad when it is new year and the days are getting longer.
But keeping going. I just live, and wonder if God put me here to annoy other people.
My husband is standing with me. But I cannot see him. I love him. And always will. This is the toughest thing ever to do.
Hi Trixie and all those who have posted on here. So good to communicate with those who really understand. 20 months for me and I just feel so sad and lonely even when I am amongst other people. It really shocks and disappoints me as to how people can almost be dismissive of your pain. Maybe they prefer to ignore you because they fear they will be the one left. In fact, however painful it is for me to struggle through each day, I am glad that my husband will never have to go through the pain himself. On the other hand I have been comforted at those who have been truly kind even though they have never experienced deep grief. With deep love comes deep grief I suppose. Sorry to sound gloomy. Thank you to you all for being so supportive and take care of yourself everyone. X
I loss my husband 2 mouths ago and l just can’t explain to anyone how lm feeling don’t what to feel like this and l know he wouldn’t want me to but lm not coping at all
everyone to their own, but life is what you make it, ok we have lost our other halves, but we have to build a new life without them, no matter how hard it is. as the weeks go on it gets easier. I love xmas and the dark nights,always have, all pressies are wrapped, food in freezer, decs up and not a sign of god anywhere, thankfully.
Lucky you! Not sure why you feel the need to even post on a bereavement site as life is so rosy for you e.g you have presents under the tree and freezer full of food. Not everyone has that sort of support network
I am happy for you that you are enjoying life but I am sorry you post sounds a bit heartless. Not everyone here has family to buy for and face a lonely Christmas. I lost the love of my life after 52 years together and life will never be the same for me but I am lucky I have family around me. I wish you a merry Christmas.
who said it was rosy. i have a son i buy for, i have the same food as everyone else, i dont have any support network, havent had since hubby died over 3 yrs ago. but i am getting on with it as there is no nother way.
i have been lonely for over 3 yrs, after 47 yrs, my life will never be the same and i dont enjoy life, but i refuse to let it get me down. i have no support around me, i have done everything alone.
I understand your loss. I just want to be left alone too.
It’s 9 months since I lost the most wonderful man in the world. I knew I was lucky to have him and the loss is too great to bear. I want to scream, shout and smash everything, I’m being medicated and put forward for therapy because I told my gp that I don’t want to exist without him. I also told them that it wouldn’t be until our fur baby passes, as its my responsibility now to give him his best life. He’s a healthy 5yr 8mth old gsd. I have moments of joy with him when we’re on the heath everyday, but I can’t come home and tell Laurence about the things he did. Loss is cruel, it was unexpected, out of the blue.
Thank you, life will never be the same again but I am slowly getting used to it but as you know it is hard we have to find courage we didn’t know we had.