I just want them back

Hi.
I sadly lost both my parents within 17 months of each other, also my Brother in law & 12 friends too, all within 2 years.
I lost Mum to covid on first day of lockdown, 1 day after mothers day & 2 days after my birthday, which are both coming up next month. I HATE my birthdays now & just want my Mum & Dad back. I used to talk to them every day, & was always there for them. Although i lost Mum 4 years ago i feel SO SO lost STILL. I had a complete breakdown the year after, & the next year I moved, thinking it might help & make a fresh start, but i havd no friends here, no-one calls me any longer like Mum & Dad used to, & some days i wish i was with them. If i didnt have my hubby here & my best friends, i know i would not be here.
I dont know what to do any more & think i am still struggling with complicated grief.
I just want to chat to someone who understands me.
Big hugs to you all & thanks for reading my post xxx

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I’m so so sorry for your losses :broken_heart:
I just lost my Mum on New Year’s Day this year and like you we talked all the time on the phone when we weren’t spending time together. She was everything to me.

I know our situations are different but I just wanted you to know I relate to the feelings you describe xx

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Hi @Alfies-mum51
That’s a lot of loss to go through, a very big change, & a lot to process. Sending hugs of support.

I hate to say it, but reading about your loss has made me think how glad I was to read you have your husband & best friends. Even though I know my husband & best friends can’t give me back what I have lost losing my dad & my mother never being in my life to start with… I thank God I do have them. I feel your pain & understand your feelings. It’s good you reached out. Keep it up!