I just want to stop crying

It’s been 7 months since I lost my husband of 51 years and I still cannot get through a day without crying. I have these images in my head all the time of the 6 months from the day he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. Everyone says try and think of the happy times and holidays we went on but they make me worse. I’m so angry that this happened to him and feel so guilty that I am still here it’s so unfair he didn’t deserve to go through that. I feel so alone unfortunately no children, plenty of friends but just being alone scares me so much. When I heard in the past of someone losing a partner I alway said how sad it was but then carried on with my life, I never realised what pain they were going through until now. It’s so hard to believe that you are never going to see them again

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I feel the same. I feel so desperately sad that he had to go through what he did. Cancer and passing away at 59. He looked so young, and was very young in his outlook. I keep replaying things he said and did in those months. I’m going to try and replace them with happier days, where he made me laugh. I’ve had hypnosis before, seriously considering it again, but don’t want to forget certain moments. Sending warm wishes and hugs.

My heart goes out to you loosing someone at such a young age, my husband was 74, some people would say not a bad age but there is never a good age, his parents lived until they were 80s and 90s, sister is her 80s, brother in his late 70s so it was such a shock.

Thank you, he was only diagnosed last summer, then told a few months back that he didn’t have long. He wanted to get to his birthday this year, and he did. I’m sorry for your loss too. My parents were in their nineties and it still hit me hard, over 10 years ago. Time has healed that pain but of course it’s different. We just weren’t ready for this bombshell. I will be happy again, I’m determined. I’ve had my fair share of sadness, with one thing and another.

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Life is so unfair i get angry all the time my husbands cancer was missed 2 years ago and by the time they found it he didnt have long he beat all the odds but didnt make his ultimate goal of reaching our sons 4th birthday. All he wanted in the end is that the kids would remember him. So keeping his memory alive is what keeps me going. He only died 5 weeks ago but i cry all the time i dont think i will ever stop. Love to you all

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Sending hugs, such a difficult time. It is unfair, they would want us to be happy, he even said that he was sorry to put me through all this, and another time said he was so glad I was there with him. He was glad to be at home (everyone’s situation is different). I said he shouldn’t say sorry.

I do wonder if it was going on longer and he kept it to himself, thinking about it - it’s possible, or our previous GP didn’t do enough to investigate a few signs and symptoms. We’ll never know.

We had some amazing times this year, made the most of the time we had, seeing a few great places around the UK.

Sending love and strength to everyone. We will get through this. I’ve joined a few walking groups, to get out with people and not talk about it, although it’s hard when they are talking about their lives, etc. The exercise is good though.

ToriaVic It is so very early for you, you need to keep crying it is a release for your body and mind and helps you to heal. You must be feeling so angry too . The terrible hurt and indescribable feeling of grief will get easier but not yet, go with it let it flow, your grief is your love and you will always love him so you will always grieve but it will be manageable and one day you will smile when you remember him and talk about him. He will live on in your heart and in your son. X

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