I just want to talk to Mum tonight

I lost my Mum almost 3 weeks ago, it was completely unexpected. Tonight I want to talk to her so much my chest hurts.
I have nothing specific to tell her I just want to talk to her about ridiculous celebrity gossip, and the tv she has missed, catch her up on how we have all been doing since she has been gone and reassure her that we miss her so so much but are all ok and we are looking after each other like she taught us.
I spoke to her every day, I never went more than 2/3 days without speaking to her even when I was at uni and not speaking to her now kills me. It almost feels like I’m storing things to talk to her about but tonight I feel ready to burst.

5 Likes

I’m so sorry for the loss of your darling Mum. A few words of comfort that were sent to me many years ago that I would like to share.

The loss of your mother, no matter how old you are, changes your life forever.
Your mother is your first and forever friend. You never really get over the loss, but you learn to live with it. She is never far away from your thoughts, and she is always in your heart.

Take care and stay strong x

4 Likes

Hi
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly 5months ago and everything you said is how I feel. I feel like I’m waiting for her to return any moment and we tell her how we’ve managed too. I want to see her look proud of all we’ve accomplished and tell her she can’t go away for that long again. We love and miss her too much…but she’s not coming back.
I talk to her most nights before I go to bed, telling her everything I really want to say in person. I just hope she’s listening.
Take care and take one day at a time x

5 Likes

Hello Kabixixi,

What a shock for you, the unexpected loss of your beloved Mum. Don’t store your thoughts up, tell your Mum everything you want to. She has walked beside you all your life, keep that thought close and she will be there now.
I can see our lovely members are responding to you, showing support and friendship. If ever you feel you need a little extra support, please know we are here for you.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling
You can also contact Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.
Please continue to post, continue talking to us.

Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community Team

3 Likes

I am sorry to hear of your sad loss of your mum.
I lost my mum on the 3rd March 2020 after she suffered from a massive stroke and never regained consciousness. She was always phoning me up at all hours of the day.
It wasn’t until the early hours of 28th February last year when I had a missed call from her I listened to the message and it was from my dad 2 telling me that she was rushed into hospital. I rang him straight back and eventually got hold of my sister and we rushed upto my dad’s and then spent the next couple of days visiting her. It was heart breaking as she didn’t have any serious medical conditions.
I still grieve every day and it doesn’t seem to feel that she has gone.

3 Likes

Thank you all so much for your replies. I tried writing to Mum last night with all the things I wanted to tell her and I found that helpful.
It was 3 weeks today that we lost her, she was in hospital for a week before she passed and we were not able to visit which was so hard, she was also struggling to speak on the phone so I couldn’t speak to her, so it feels much longer since we last spoke.
Today has been easier, I have had my family around me which is always good as I can feel my mum when we are all together.
I’m sorry to hear so many of you have suffered similar losses to me and feel similar things, I really appreciate your replies and that you took the time to comfort me.

3 Likes

Hi there, I understand and feel your pain and totally relate.
I’m sorry you have lost your mum suddenly it must be a massive shock to you and difficult to get your head around it and take it all in…

I lost my mum too and the pain is indescribable. I miss her so much it hurts constantly.
When you said you felt like you were storing things up to tell her, me too…I feel like I’ve got so much to tell her and update her on things she has missed. Its made me cry reading your message. As I feel exactly the same as you and it’s killing me inside. I just want my mum back… xx

4 Likes

I lost my Mum in February.

Like you I really miss not being able to talk to her. Not to say much just a chat. I would usually call saying I didn’t have anything to say… not like we were up to much in lockdown :roll_eyes: I have have great support from family and friends but nobody comes close to my Mum. Like others have said, Mum’s know us from the very beginning before our birth, they know what makes us tick and they accommodate our imperfections and love us unconditionally.

I feel your pain and hurt. My first trip to a supermarket after her death was difficult. So many people around and I was just wishing she would come around the corner of an aisle and we would hug. I really felt that need to see her. So there I was stood alone in tears rolling down my face in Tesco.

What I have found that helps is looking back at our texts and messages. It keeps her close to me and keeps the everyday bond we had alive. You could always continue to send your mum messages with updates and notes.

We’re not alone in our grief, and although you would not want anyone to go through what you are going through its comforting to know you are not alone. xxx

4 Likes

Hi all sending big hugs to you all hi i too lost my mum in on 23 feb. So not long ago and lost my dad suddenley in october my mum was told she had cancer around xmas and went downhill rapidly and i could not travel to see her with covid rules so aint seen her for a year so that hurt too i cant come to terms they both have gone and i will never see them againxxx

4 Likes

I am 27 and lost my Mum on the 31st of January, I feel so cheated of the rest of my life with her by my side. She was 55, active and healthy so her passing away wasn’t on my radar - despite me being a massive worrier. It was so sudden and unexpected.

I’d spend hours on the phone to my Mum too, usually see her at least every other weekend but COVID meant I hadn’t seen her in months. I have felt crippled by an intense feeling of dread today, I know exactly how you are feeling - today all I wanted to do was hear her voice and have a big hug with her. Losing my Mum was my worst nightmare come true, like you I’ve lost my best friend too - we were so close.

I haven’t plucked up the courage yet but I’m going to buy a nice journal/diary and start writing letters to my Mum. I think I need to use it as a way to get everything I want to say to her out of my head and offload some of what I’m feeling.

Just know that you are not alone, in time hopefully we can find peace in and be grateful that we have such incredible Mothers to remember x

4 Likes

Hi Kahixixi I feel so sad for you as I do for myself it happened to me too. Didn’t know she was going to die that day and didn’t really interact with her much whilst sitting with her so keep blaming myself for not touching her reaching out to her and hugging her. Oh how we hurt when we lose our Mums. It’s just awful and nothing no words nothing can change anything, we just have to keep on going somehow. I speak to my Mum a lot and tell her off for leaving me. She was my best friend as well as my Mum and I saw her every single day in the last 7 years since we lost my Dad. I stepped in to make sure she was ok and coping without him. I miss her so much so very very much and I hope and pray you can find some comfort in speaking with her and keeping her alive that way. Big hugs I truly know how you feel Red Poppy

4 Likes

Hi Kabixixi
So very sorry your heart is aching, I completely understand and share your pain. One year today since my Mums funeral. Keep talking to your Mum and tell her and share everything with her - she is still with you for sure. I can’t believe I have managed to live this year without my best friend but life does go on thankfully as they say. Xx

3 Likes

Thank you, x

Thank you x

1 Like

Hope you okk thinkingg about you love i too lost my best friend last year just before i lost my dad its so hard not hearing her voice or seeing her on phone she meant the world to me and died in a house fire think she burned to death we had bin making plans for me to visit at christmas. I have a photo at side of my bed and talk to her the pain really hurts so im grieving for 3 people all after another and its bloody hard sending big hugs to you all love jillxxx

1 Like

Today has been another difficult day. I miss her so much it’s agony I just want her to come home. I can’t cry anymore, I feel like I’ve felt so much over the last 4 weeks that I am just spent.
I have written to her and spoken to her but it doesn’t feel enough today I want her here with me. I feel like a child who can’t have what they want, I want to stamp my feet and have a temper tantrum.
Weekends are always the hardest, Saturdays were the day I would spend the most time with her, we would go shopping or on a trip somewhere before the pandemic hit and Sunday’s were family days where we would all be together for a meal. I’ve begun dreading the weekend.
Nothing feels fair today.

Thank you x

1 Like

Kabixixi I understand what you say completely as I often feel like stamping my feet and just saying hey this is enough I want my Mom back do you hear. Alas it doesn’t bring them back I wish it did but it doesn’t. The longing for them and the pain in your chest is just so unbearable some days and on those days I remind myself how much I still love her and I try to hold onto what everyone keeps telling me that she is still with me in my heart and in my memories. It’s not enough but it’s all we’ve got. I hate the week ends and used to love them, sadly now they just seem empty and pointless. We have to keep going somehow and no not much about life is fair and not just today :smirk: big distanced hugs RedPoppy

1 Like

You are welcome, really hope today has been a good day for you. I spent baking and decorating Easter cakes - a feeble attempt but my Mum did this so well and I need to try to keep tradition going at least for my girls . Last year was a wipe - out. Take care of yourself - please know I and all on this forum completely share your pain. Your Mum wants you to be happy above everything :heart:

1 Like
Back to top