I am neither dead nor alive, my mind body and soul are filled with poison. The toxic venom of grief. I loathe who I am without you my Love.
I can’t believe it’s nearly a year since I lost you, my hero.
This horrendous savage existence is cruel, all because we loved each other so deeply.
Grief is a death sentence, a vile disease without a cure. Future my ass, without you I have nothing, I am nothing, just a Zombie named Maria.
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Your words are exactly how I feel nearly five months for me. I thought people could die of a broken heart mine is shattered into pieces . Why am I still here x
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I know, I ask myself that every day, why am I still here.
Aimlessly drifting in a surreal world of torture.
Thank you for your reply 
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My mam died when she was 59 same age as my husband died. My dad lived till he was 81 . I’m so scared that I will have to live with this torture for the next twenty odd years. I had been with my husband for 43 years married 39 together from 16 all my adult life can’t see no future without him x
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I understand your fear at the prospect of suffering this horrendous torture for years.
I myself don’t know how much more I can take, but I’m still here, why I don’t know
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