Hi I loss my wife to cancer this year in 24 March and it is her birthday 12 August and I want to do something but I can think what. Life seams so empty now. This is my first time on here
3 Likes
Hi sorry for your loss. I lost my partner to brain cancer 8 months ago I miss him every single day he was 55 and my soul mate. Message any time if you need to chat x
2 Likes
@Apw it is very early days for you and the first anniversary’s I’m sure are always the most difficult (I hope as it was 1 year last Monday when I lost my soulmate). You don’t say if you have family but if you do maybe organise a small gathering to celebrate her birthday and the good days that you have shared in the past. I was dreading July as it was his birthday on the 16th, had a massive heart attack on the 22nd and died on the 29th. My family gave me a lot of support and arranged events for every weekend and it was actually not as difficult as I had anticipated. Stay strong and keep busy as i truly believe that the anticipated pain is often worse than the actual experience
1 Like
It was his birthday in April I bought some balloons with a message on and had children and grandchildren around. We had pizza (that was his favourite) then let the balloons go was a sad but lovely day 
2 Likes
I meet my wife in 1999 and we choice not to have children. Because soon after we meet we fould out she had MS and she got the chance to go on a medical trial which last 10 years. On the trail we were not alone to get pregnant. But this did not stop the love between us. But started a lot other small medical things happen all the time but that did not stop use living life. Sorry for my writing as I dyslexic and find it hard to wright. She all my life
2 Likes
I am so sorry.
I lost my husband in March and his birthday was in July.
So I understand.
You have various ways you can mark your wife’s birthday.
Perhaps something for yourself.
It could be something quiet, planting a a rose or shrub in your garden, if you have one.
Perhaps having something else in the garden, I read of a person having a bench.
Some people go out somewhere with a friend for a drink or meal.
Sometimes it is a bigger occasion.
Whatever, it is, I hope it helps you through the day.
Thinking of you,
Rose x
Hi @Apw
Welcome to the Community 
First ‘Anniversaries’ can be very tough.
This advice from Sue Ryder may help
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/looking-to-the-future/coping-with-important-dates-after-a-bereavement/
One thing I have found is that I can struggle the day after an ‘anniversary’.
I think the body & mind psyche themselves up to deal with the the prior days and the day itself!
Take care
2 Likes
Yes the time after firsts can be difficult.
1 Like
It’s 9 days away and feeling empty.
I never been one for feelings but now I feel alone and empty and I cry every day now. Some things I can do ok just miss the small things most holding hands ect
Thanks
3 Likes
@Apw i am sorry you are feeling so alone at this time. Do you still work? If you don’t i would thoroughly recommend doing some volunteering, there are so many charities that really need the help of various. I’m helping out at our local AgeUK day centre and it has been a life saver for me. It’s giving me a reason to get up in the mornings and I have made new friends and met some very lovely people.
Yes I work for network rail start went it was British rail. I just started back full time.
Having to work 12 hours day to day. It’s the small things walking into
Our home working out what to
Eat will it get easier
2 Likes
@Apw we are all different and for months I was a blubbering wreck, now a year has passed and I am coping so much better. I still have tears at times, I still talk to him every day and I know I will never stop missing him but I’m getting used to being alone, to walking in to an empty home and preparing meals just for me.
I hope you can find some peace and comfort in the next few months, concentrate on the good times and enjoy those memories. Sending you hugs and kind thoughts for your struggles moving forward
2 Likes
@Apw,
It will get easier, but the pain and sadness will never go away!
I still feel exactly the same way you feel about entering your home when I go into my Dad’s bedroom!
But the house also has happy memories!
An analogy my Bereavement councillor mentioned to me:-
‘Imagine you are a big tree, and a large hole is cut into the tree trunk! The tree will continue to grow new branches but the hole will always be there.’
Sending you strength for the next 9 days and the future
Take care
1 Like