I lost my best friend - my "sister"

Hi everyone,
My best friend, the one person in this world that I could fully trust and talk to, was killed in an accident about a month ago. She didn’t even get to reach her 30th birthday.
This girl was just incredible. Not everyone liked her because she was not afraid to voice her opinion… But I truly loved how she would berate bigots, tear down the Tory’s and was such a strong ally to to LGBTQ+ community. Most of all, she fought for the rights of animals.
To have managed to fight all these battles while fighting various illnesses, it makes me so unbelievably angry that she was killed in an accident when walking her dog. Why her?
I feel so sad and angry all the time and numb. I just cannot deal with this. I have lost many older grandparents (which of course was sad) but they had their time and it was easier to accept after a short period of mourning. This… How do I even begin? I spent days just on the sofa, crying, wishing I could join her (in a non-sucde way!) And being angry that the world was carrying on. Weeks later, I’m now able to “do things” but not for very long. The grief I’m feeling has flared up my fibromyalgia which makes it all worse.
Although we lived an hour and a half away from each other, we were closer than anyone I’ve ever known and now she’s gone. I can’t be around any of her things as her family are not ready for that yet. I understand and respect their time to grieve, and care for them very much but it makes me so sad.

Thank you for taking the time to read this if you’ve got this far. I really needed a safe space to voice this.


Hello @Panda, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I can see that you’re new so wanted to thank you for bravely sharing your feelings with us. And thank you for telling us about your sister.

I wanted to let you know that you’ve been heard - please do keep reaching out to us. You are not alone.

Take care

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Hi i am new to this site. I just lost my sister and best friend. Can completely relate to what you are saying. A lot of similarities there. If you want to talk? I just still can’t believe this has happened and it does not feel real still… just feel empty


Hi Panda, So sorry for your loss. and the tragic way it occurred. My sister was also my best friend and the closest person in my life. We both also loved animals. Like your sister, she was honest and outspoken. Cancer took her from me 4 years on, and I have yet to accept it. When we lose a sibling we lose a part of ourselves, and that empty space remains. Sibling loss is often downplayed in our society, thus forums such as this are so important.
I wish I could say more to ease your pain, but all I can do is offer my compassion and empathy. Take care and please post again, many here will support you. Xxx Another Sad Sister :broken_heart:


I am so sorry about your sister. What a tragedy. It’s such a lot to process and good for you for speaking out. I’m my case I needed to talk it out- keep talking. It’s going to take time. It’s so very early days. I’m here if you want to chat.

Hello @Panda, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I know exactly how you feel. Sudden bereavement is very difficult to cope with. It just does not make sense. Especially in your case. The grief you are feeling will come and go and might hit you when you least expect it.

I am in month 8 now and it still hits me again and again. If you do not have friends who understand what you are going through, you can always find them here on this site.

  • My brother was 73 when he died of sudden and unexpected heart attack in February 2022. He and I where always together accept for about 6 years when I was living in another country. And now, I am totally lost. - As Sister2 said “Sibling loss is often downplayed in our society.” I agree, my brother and I were closer than anyone else we knew. I also knew him longer than anyone else. And now, I suffer. - Grief is just sh##.

  • Bad things often come in threes. My brother’s cat Tommy died in December 2021, then my brother in February 2022 and then his cat Jack just 7 days ago. I just hope that is it. - Well, I nearly died in July. My brother’s neighbour had to rush me to the hospital where they had to take out a 60cm long piece of my intestines, just in time. One hour later and I would have died. - No more bad luck please.

Take care Panda, and I hope you will write more about your sister, it helps. - Nick.

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Nick you have not had time to process one loss before being hit with another. So sorry about “Jack.” I remember reading your previous post saying he was failing. I like to think our beloved pets join us in Heaven, so if it brings any solace perhaps Jack is now safe with your dear brother & Tommy. It is so sad to know of so many here who are mourning a sibling, but it helps to be able to share our pain. Take care.

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Hi Sister2, thank you for your reply. - I think I am jinxed. I just called an old friend, he has to go to the hospital today because he has a bladder problem. (bladder outlet obstruction) I hope he will be OK. - He went to his GP first, but had to wait for several hours. - I think I was very lucky with my GP on the 20th of July. He took me in very quickly check my intestines and sent me on my way to the hospital. I was very lucky with my operation, one hour later and I would have died. - How often can one dodge the bullet? This was number 4. I never gave it much thought but the last one did rattle me. It was not even the closest one. I think I am getting old, oops I am old, I am 70 now. - When we get older, we are also more scared too. - Sorry, I forgot to ask you how you are feeling.

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Your messages are so comforting. Reading your posts is what made me decide to join and post about my sister. God how I love her. I want her back so badly. I want to hear her voice. I want another card from her. I wish so badly I had a voicemail or something of hers. Dear Lord Jesus, please hear my prayer for help in dealing with this. It’s been over 2 years now and I still cry cry cry. I am now. Thank you for your kindess, Sister2. God bless you.


Thank you “Peggy’s Brother” I am so glad my words can bring a measure of comfort to others, and that you were encouraged to join this wonderful forum. Although none of us ever met, I often feel a warmth and understanding from folks on here that is sorely lacking in everyday life. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Like you, I miss my precious Sister’s cards (always chosen with such love and care) and the sound of her voice and laughter, and everything else. I am 4 years on, and I still cry and doubt I shall ever stop. We can only try to carry on along side this crushing pain, and find our strength where we can. Keep posting and know that you are not alone in this struggle. God Bless you as well. Xxx Sad Sister2