Hi, I lost my brother a couple of days ago. Because of the Christmas stuff going on, they want me to phone them tomorrow at 1pm to take the next steps with regards to his body and getting a certificate etc. I have no idea what to do. It feels like it happened so suddenly and now I am completely alone. I hardly have any friends, or family members either. The friends I do have are supporting me but not being able to get out of my head is horrible. I don’t know how to deal with this. The house feels so bloody creepy now without him here. I feel sick when I am at home but I need to be home to care for the dogs too so I have no idea how to balance caring for myself and caring for the dogs.
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Hello @JEDiG ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling confused and unsure about what steps to take next, your words highlight the absolute distress you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to have a look here: Sibling loss: Coping with death of your sister or brother | Sue Ryder
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
I am very sorry for what you are going through. There is lots of professional help out there re dealing with the official/practical things. Take it one step at a time. I understand that it is hard being in the house but you will be ok. I thought of it as my job.
Kind regards
Sue
I just wanted to reach out to say, my deepest condolences for the loss of your brother. Sibling grief, I am finding is traumatic loss, which can seem overshadowed in a sense. Not that there should ever be a comparison in my view.
Not to mention the overwhelming anxiety of trying to deal with the demands from society. All the red tape and documents we are forced to deal with, whilst in shock as such.
I too, experienced nausea and panic, unlike I have ever known so I just wanted to say, you are not alone in that as all.
I think, if I didn’t have a Cat, knowing I have to keep this fragile hold, to keep taking care of her, well. I guess I am saying that I admire you for taking care of your dogs. As bad as I have felt. I guess feeding and loving my pet is all I can deal with. And don’t get me wrong, still tough.
It really is one day at a time and for me personally, I have found no one can really understand how to support us in these raw early days .
For me, it helps when people recognise that we all need different support.
I got tired of people telling me, I am strong, the best sister.
I guess I am more ok with not feeling strong, well accepting it as normal. experience of grief is isolating,even if we have a big/small a network around us maybe.
Anyway. I hope my message helps just a little , even if it was just an acknowledge that I read your post and it kind of helped me too
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