I lost my close friend

It’s been 2 days since I know he passed away in an accident… it was his fault.
He was 44 we were very close.
His loss reminded of my father loss and now I’m having sometimes thoughts of death (I’m gonna die) it comes to me twice or 3 times.
Now and yesterday when I was about to sleep and before that too.
I can’t stop crying about him… I watched YouTube vid about the loss of our friends how to cope with that but I’m still not able to over came it.

I googled trying to find anything that would help and I come across this forum.

Dear Ferra,

You have lost a close friend and you will need to allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve that loss. Cry when you need to, it is better than trying to bottle up your emotions. The fact that your friend died suddenly, and unexpected, and that you had no chance to say goodbye must make it a lot harder to come to terms with losing him.

I am not surprised that your friend’s death has brought back memories and maybe even the emotions you felt when you lost your father. In the last 4 years I have lost several people and each loss brought back the other losses.

Thinking about your own mortality is not uncommon when you are confronted with death, and I would not worry too much if you occasionally have those thoughts you write about , but do seek help if you cannot stop thinking about it.

Do you have anyone you can talk with about how you feel? A good friend or family member?
It is good that you have come to this site. I have seen other posts from people who have lost loved ones due to traffic accidents and I hope hat some of them will reply to you.

Did you know there is charity that supports people who have lost someone in an accident? You may find it helpful to visit their site:

I hope that you will find our online community helpful. You can post as often as you want.

Dear Jo,
Many thanks for the reply.
I very much appreciated.
It’s the shock, the sudden and unexpected death just like my father. But for my father I was away and when I arrived home I visited his grave (didn’t have any connection with grave) and the feeling was strange I kept believing that he is away (travelling somewhere and he will be back, as he used to travel a lot) …
He had lots of knowledge on our family history and general knowledge, he was a scientist… he wrote some and the rest was gone with him. My freind was the same I told him several times to take action and he was planning to do that and started to earn some money for that but he is gone suddenly.
Last year my great uncle passed away and I was with him supporting … I was crying but I knew that he is going to die I saw his suffering… this freind I spoke with him few days before his death and i watch his YouTube channel (prime) so we used to check on each other what we watched from the History section and we discussed things. Suddenly I noticed that he is not watching anything I was worried texted called no reply then his sister texted me from his phone … he is in the USA I’m in the U.K. …
My eyes were swollen I felt I am alone … it’s hard to find a friend that I can tell all my crap and he is not a judgmental and would give me advice if I need … I spoke briefly with my sister … she lost her friend too but it is still not enough … my freinds said sorry to hear that and this is life … I can’t share it with my mother she is old and I don’t want to tell her a bad news … is there any other links you recommend them to me … he didn’t die by a car accident… he has a different story.
Thanks again

Dear Ferra,

Everyone’s story is different, and one of the nice things on this site is that it is a safe place for everyone to share their stories and their feelings. We all know what it is like to lose a loved one and we try to be there for each other.

I am sorry to read that you had another loss only last year when your great uncle passed away. It must have been a great comfort to him that you were there to support him, but it must have been hard for you to see him suffer. You sound like a very caring person.

You have asked me to send you any links that may be useful for you. I think you could benefit from talking with a bereavement counselor. Their may be a waiting time, but here are the details:

Cruse Bereavement offers a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services

Sue Ryder also offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger.
I hope you are able to have a good night’s sleep tonight.

Thank you so much for your kind words and the links as well as the information you provided.
I loved my great uncle and I visited him all the time and he used to be happy to see me and sometimes I would stay few night with him … it was hard for me too as I never experienced this before - seeing someone I know deteriorating v fast (brain tumour) and leave us very quick. For his loss I wrote and performed a song for him as he loved music and encouraged me to sing.
This March i lost 2 ( a woman I knew lived in different country age 89 she died before she read the email and the photos i sent to her … it’s was very painful too I loved her v much and this one my very dear friend whom I have a strong friendship with him.

Many thanks :pray: for the support you gave me.
Wishing you a wonderful evening and a very good night