Hello guys,
I’m Katie, I’m 28yrs.
I lost my dad 7 months ago, he was diagnosed with a tumour and 3 weeks after died in his sleep. I still cry and feel physical pain in my chest every day.
I’m sad all the time, it’s effecting my relationships
I feel like everyone around me has moved on and get asked why am I sad. It’s like people forget and I’m stuck feeing like this, I miss him so much
Does it get better?
Hi Katie, I’m so sorry about your dad. You’re so young. I’m absolutely broken by my mam’s leaving me 5 weeks ago tomorrow. I can’t switch off the need to see her again, speak to her, for it to have never happened, feeling guilty about what I didn’t say, everything you can possibly imagine. I 'm absolutely consumed by my love for her and feel like a lost child. I can’t move on because I don’t want to leave her behind. I can’t sleep and my life is empty without her in it. I long to be with her again, to go back and relive happy times when she wasn’t ill, pottering in the garden. It’s heartbreaking that she won’t see her Spring bulbs come up. I was always so busy getting stuff done that I didn’t realise she was ill. I feel so guilty. I’ve posted many times on here and find it helps to get the feelings out and people are so very kind. Keep posting. So sorry about your dad. I’m 51 and it’s like I’ve never grown up and now I have to because I don’t have my mam. I feel so lost without her. x
Hi Christine,
I feel the exact same! My dad was 62. Very sudden, he only went to the hospital because his arm was dead (stroke symptoms) and they found a tumour on the lung, and I took him to all his appointments, managed his meds, had 25 calls a day from him! I really miss the calls even though it was stressful! 3 weeks of finding out and going to hospital appointments and hopeful he’d be ok and he he just slipped away in his sleep! I feel so guilty that I didn’t do more! He was a person I was responsible for, he felt like my child because I did everything for him. I feel soo lost and apart of my heart went with him. The anxiety I feel that everyone’s moved on, I have sad days every day! And when people ask me what’s up, I don’t even have the energy to remind them my dads gone.
Feels like he’s on a long holiday, it’s all my mind can be focused on, I’m still off work and i feel like everyone around me if let down because I’m still off work and not being my usual self
I’m soo sorry for your loss, if doesn’t matter what age you loose someone it hurts regardless x
Your dad is lucky to have passed in his sleep. It’s just heartbreaking. I watched my mam gasp her last breaths as the body fought against death. She was asleep but I was shocked when she opened her eyes and looked at me. I was talking to her while it happened. I can still see her face. I miss our phone calls. I feel so guilty I didn’t see her more. I had to fight my anxiety every time I went over to see her and then it was so stressful being there. I wish I had been able to just sit and talk to her. I would give anything to go back and tell her I love her. I don’t understand why my sister isn’t upset. I can’t cope without my mam. And I’m told that the ache and pain doesn’t go away. How could it? You can’t stop loving and missing them. Don’t feel guilty that you aren’t ‘normal’ for everyone around you. Until they’ve lost the most precious person to them they won’t have a clue how you feel. Feel everything you feel and accept it. How can you not feel lost when your life was so entwined with you caring for him. I feel so desperately unhappy without my mam. I don’t understand how I can move on from this. People do but they must feel destroyed. I’m facing another day without sleep and going through the motions when I’m not just sitting crying. My sister went back to work and was fine. I don’t know how I’m going to open the door for my shopping delivery and not be crying my eyes out. This is my life now. I move from one state of sadness to another and between that is complete desperation. I thought that going to church might help to feel closer to mam but I didn’t feel anything other than emptiness. I just want my mam back. This is torture.
Hi @Katie3
I’m Kate and am part of the Online Community team - I can see that you are new to the community so I wanted to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and how you are feeling. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
You may also find the information pages on our website helpful - if you have a spare few minutes, please do take a look: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Kate