I lost my Dad

I lost my Dad on the 7th March. He was 63. He went into hospital and was there 5 weeks before he passed. When he was admitted we did not expect to lose him so fast, we were told he had problems with his heart but that it was not at end of life stage and we would hopefully have a few years with him if managed properly, he was chatty and upbeat, joking with all the staff and desperate to get out so he could go to gigs nd football matches he had booked. He caught MRSA and his health declined, this contributed to problems with his lungs, kidneys and liver. His liver was problematic but the hospital had not found this out until the complications with MRSA. He was still awake and lucid, still talking as though he was coming home. The consultants still advised us it was life changing but not end of life. For 4 weeks he was awake and happy but unfortunately he became unresponsive, this lasted 5 days, when he woke on the 5th day he was scared, he called “help me”, he looked at me and said “I don’t want to be dead” he kept telling every nurse and doctor “I’m back” but I could tell how scared he was. He wanted a drink but we weren’t allowed to give it to him. By the next day he became unresponsive again, this is when we were told there was no more options and palliative care began, in need 48 hours we had lost him. I’m absolutely heartbroken. I’ve was due to start a new job the day my Dad passed away but instead I delayed it for 3 weeks, after which I started my new post, I work with children so I’m spend 5 days a week putting on a brave face trying to push all this to the back but when I leave my heart aches, I’m struggling to sleep, I keep wakening and thinking of how scared he was, wishing I’d given him water, wondering if he knew how much he was loved and how much I loved him. My mum is broken too, they had been together from 15 and my brother is hurting aswell. I just feel so sad all the time, I feel like I can’t find joy in anything at the moment, I have 2 kiddies who loved their Grandpa very much and who he adored, I want to find that joy for them like I know my Dad would want but I just miss my Dad so much.


Hi, so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 4 weeks ago and reading about how you’re feeling is very similar to me. My Dad passed away very quickly, we knew he was unwell but he died so suddenly. I am struggling with his death. I feel panicky and at a loss. I am struggling with watching other peoples lives carry on as normal while I feel stuck in a surreal world. I too find it hard to sleep. I’ve referred myself for bereavement counselling as I think this may help me. Do you think this may help you? I am sorry I can’t offer any more support but I wanted you to know you’re not alone in this.

I have lost my father yesterday suddenly and am finding it hard to cope.

Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I completely understand how you must be feeling right now and hope you have a supportive network around you. The first weeks looking back were a complete blur for me and now seven weeks and four days later some days still feel surreal. However there is sunshine amongst the showers and the sunshine is becoming more frequent. There isn’t anything I can say to make you feel better but know everyone is different and it really is a complete rollercoaster of emotions. Every day is different to the one before and there are no right or wrong ways to act or feel. I guess the things I have learnt which may be of comfort to you is to really be kind to yourself. I found this hard at first as I was trying to support my close family but really at the expense of my own feelings. It’s ok to cry and take time for you. I still haven’t returned to work as yet and I have found this a pressure off of my shoulders but appreciate this is not an option for everyone. Message on here as/when you need support as the forum is a really helpful platform. Message anytime too.