I lost my father two weeks ago. He was 62, I’m 32. It was sudden due to heart issues.
He was my closest friend.
For first few days I was crying a lot. Now I’m feeling more stable but I’m feeling a great amount of anger, hate toward universe, sadness and a lot of negative feelings, and really I can’t see any hope in future.
I have wife, great job, stable life however for many, many years I was constantly not satisfied. For some time I was taking anti depressants, not because clinic depression but because of „depressive states” and anxiety.
I didn’t really care that I was getting married, promotion at job gave my satisfaction just for day or two, but it was fine. I was always able to talk to my father and make silly jokes about everything. Now I can’t, and to be honest I can’t look forward and see anything nice in my future. I don’t really care about growing family, advancing my career, spending money on cool things.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your father, @xender. Your loss is very recent and I just want to reassure that whatever feelings you’re having are normal.
I’m giving this thread a gentle bump - I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support.
I am so sorry you are going through this .
I lost my dad a few weeks ago .
He was my world , my everything , the bond we had was so unique .
He had lung and brain melanoma , and was coping really well with his immunotherapy treatment .
As soon as radiotherapy was suggested he went through with it . Within 3 months of having it he s died . We were told by the consultant that radiotherapy doesn’t really work in brain melanoma !!
I feel so angry that he received a treatment t that would t have made a difference and which impacted his quality of life so much to the point where his speech , and independence was gone .
People keep telling me to hold on to the memories , and I’m so angry that I have to do that ?! I want my Dad and to make more memories not talk about him in past tense .
I really can’t get my head around the fact he s gone . When I see his face on photos I’ m almost in disbelief .
I don’t think I will ever get over it . I go to sleep with his cardigan every night .
I’m so heart broken
mine is gone too. please know: no one wants a damn thing to do with life when you lose a loving parent. nothing in life interests you and that is normal. it takes several years to even feel better. allow yourself all the time you need. in fact, I dare say, Nature is in charge of your healing. you just follow along. often life is the ride we have to take, we are less in charge than we think. (neither is the world in such great shape, leading many to be depressed.) carry on as best you can. he would want that for you.
Another thing is this terrifying feeling of loneliness almost like drowning. I have friends and family but it feels like they are unimportant, disconnected…
I am so sorry for your loss , I am with you all the way with what you are going through. It is truely unbelievable, and you will be just existing at the moment I imagine. It’s like a rollercoaster ride . Sending over a big hug . Keep going and take each day one by one xx
p.s. when I lost my mother, my last parent, I immediately attended grief support classes. it helped a lot. I also got a counselor right away. I have always had therapy. but it really aided me in that time.
My feeling after one mont are much more stable but the same I am extremely disappointed with my life (which objectively is great).
I am not satisfied with my wife or my friends. I’m looking at them and I see people doing their silly things that I’m not interested in.
Personally I’m in state where I’m not feeling happiness from entertainment, but also not from doing anything more ambitious. To be honest I’m to tired and bored to do anything.
It is not something new for me, but this unhealthy state is much stronger now, after I lost my father.
Partially it is nihilism, partially pessimism.
I don’t really now.
normal. these are life changing events. these kinds of things have us questioning everything. depressed bored people get more depressed bored when a pillar holding them up is yanked away.
getting emotional support from experts is important during this big chapter of life.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I too am 32 and lost my dad 3 weeks ago, 3 weeks after he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Today is the funeral and it’s terrifying.
Life without them sucks but I’m just trying to ride the waves of sadness and remember he’d want me to live a life I love, even without him and mum here xx
Thanks for answer. I’m definitely more depressed than I was. Few months ago I tried therapy. I had two sessions, but overall I was dissatisfied with it. Maybe will try again with different therapist.
I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and having similar thoughts. I see something funny or something happens i would normally message him about and theres no one else i can be bothered talking to. I am assuming its part of the grieving process? I think its ok to sit with those feelings and not make any massive life changing decisions until you are ready. Thinking of you
@Loley22 hard to say how it will be down the road. I was depress before, now I am a lot more depressed. I have very good life, I can do almost anything I want, but I don’t really care about doing anything. I’m just doing my job knowing I’m much less productive.
