I lost my husband

I’m new to this, just want someone to talk to.
I lost my husband suddenly last month, it was not expected, I feel utterly destroyed! When he went part of me went with him.
He had sickness and diareah, he was admitted to hospital by ambulance on May 14th after a seizure, it turned out to be Ecoli he then went into septic shock, his organs failed quickly after that, he was induced into a coma in the ICU, he was transferred from Torbay Hospital in Devon to Kings college in London, on 9th June he gave up his fight, he couldn’t do it anymore and he passed away with me holding his hand to the very end. He was 39yrs old, I’ve just celebrated our first wedding anniversary by myself just on Sunday 15th July!
I don’t know how to feel anymore, I don’t know normal, I’m lost, shocked and afraid!
Simon was a soldier, he fought in Iraq, he was in the Royal Corps of Signals, he left 10yrs ago now, but this is one fight he couldn’t do!
I miss him so much, we had so much planned, we were only together 4 & half years and married for a little over 10months.
I don’t know how to be anymore, any advice on what happens now, I’m devestated and There is great lack of help and counselling or support groups in my area
Thanks x

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Hi Jonesy
I am so so sorry for your loss, life is so cruel isn’t it, I lost my husband on 2nd of feb, unexpectedly, he just didn’t wake up that morning, he wasn’t ill, it was 3 days off his birthday and 7 days off our wedding anniversary, should of been 18 years, we did everything together by choice,so I understand how completely bereft you feel,as well as angry,confused and scared,everything seems so real and surreal at the same time. Please just try to remember although your time together was cut cruelly short, the memories you share will last you a life time. I hope you have good people around you, and sometimes you find kindness in strangers in random places like the checkout at Tesco’s, and just take each day as it comes and go with your feelings, shout,cry,laugh to yourself, because nearly 6 months on, I’m no closer to accepting my loss and can’t see any time soon that I will .Take care x

Thank you Birdy55, its good to know that these feelings and emotions are normal, it is all very surreal and real as you say, I want to start remembering all our good times together, however at the moment I can’t get passed the time in hospital, all the tubes, his seizure its all I see, I don’t sleep much and when I do I’m woken with nightmares, or I lie awake just thinking about what if this… or what if that… and just images of it all flashing in and out.
I’m so sorry for your loss,I’m grateful for your advice, it’s just such a shame that we have to seek it, your right life is cruel, we had a whole future planned.
thank you so much, hope your ok today, take care xx

I can’t imagine for a second the time you went through at the hospital, and I know it will forever be seared in your memory, so please don’t think for one second I am giving you the “know what you going through” because I never can, when I couldn’t wake my Andy up that morning, I still go through in my mind, why didn’t I wake up in the night for a pee or glass of water, if I’d have called an ambulance sooner, and the “what ifs “ are such a body blow, it literally feels like you are breaking,which, let’s me honest we are, your whole world literally comes crashing down in an instant, words fail me how to it explain but am sure you feel the same.
Thanks for replying, please take care(as best as you can) and please feel free to chat anytime xx

Thank you, it’s the first time I’ve really spoken to a stranger and I really appreciate you replying.

Anytime, take care xx

hi,its so hard the pain we feel ,i miss my little girl so much she passed away in jan 2018 after a double lung transplant to save her life she was doing well until she caught a bug im devasted ,then my mum who was my best friend passed away six weeks later,the pain is unbearable somtimes ,each day has to be taking slowly,im hoping your coping

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Dear Jonesy,

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what it must be like, losing your beloved so unexpectedly and at such a young age.

My husband died six weeks ago after a long illness. I was his carer for the last couple of years of his life, and although his death was not unexpected, I feel I’ve gone into an emotional tailspin. All during his illness I had to be the strong one, now I’m feeling completely cut off my moorings and anything but strong.

Wishing you well as you take it one day at a time. A friend who lost her husband five years ago advised me today to ‘eat, sleep and talk to someone every day’. I shall try to heed her advice.

Sending you love and strength at this difficult time.

Marie Lena x

I’m sorry to hear of your losses, its very difficult, I think I might be going a bit crazy because my brain and memory doesn’t seem to be functioning like normal, I still get the feeling that he’s just on holiday and will be back, I don’t know how long it will take before I start understanding, does that make sense? I’ve started seeing a counsellor i’m hoping it will help,
thank you for your message, I hope you are ok today xxx

lots of the same back to you, the eating is fairly ok, the talking is gonna come because i’ve just started to visit a bereavement counsellor, but the sleep is just not happening, I close my eyes and everything goes on instant replay, though this morning my memory didn’t want to remember anything.
sending lots of love and thank you for your message xx

im back and throw visiting where my mum and daughter rest 30 miles apart ,each time it destroys me ,hoping when i see my counsellor she can explain this pain that rips through me .x