I lost my mum suddenly on Monday...

Hi I lost my mum suddenly on Monday, she had been very ill for a long time (alcohol) but it happened so unexpectedly and she was only 51. We are waiting for an autopsy so don’t exactly know how she died. Its just breaking my heart and I can’t stop thinking about that she was all alone when she died and I can’t help but wonder what if she she was in pain etc. She said to my dad on the Sunday night that she wasn’t feeling well and asked him when he was going to bed so she could get some sleep on the sofa. And that’s where he found her in the morning…

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Dear Carlymystic,

That must have been such a shock for you. I can understand that you feel heartbroken and are wondering if she suffered before she died. Try not to think about that too much, it may have happened in her sleep without her knowing it. I would think that if she had been in distress, she would have called out to your dad. This will be a difficult time for all of you especially when you have to wait for the autopsy results. Her death may or may not have been alcohol related. It mus have been hard over the years o see what alcohol did to her,.
Are you and your dad close and able to talk about how you are feeling? Do you have other family members or friends who can be there for you at this time? Grief can be a roller coaster of emotions, so be kind to yourself .
It is good that you have come to this site where you will find others who can understand and support you.