I lost my mum two years ago

She was 53, i was 24.

I feel like the grief keeps getting worse. Every day gets harder to live without her.

I keep picturing her rotting in her coffin. I don’t think it will ever go away.

i should also add, my dad got a new girlfriend pretty soon after. he’s spending christmas with her instead of me. i feel so alone

Hello @charlotte971,

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I’m hearing how painful this is all feeling and I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s always someone out there to help you through this.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We have a video on complicated grief that may make sense to you. Complicated grief is when grief doesn’t seem to change or shift at all. In complicated grief, you can find yourself ‘stuck’, perhaps unable to feel sad or cry, or perhaps you feel too sad to manage your day-to-day life.

All of this can happen with grief, but when you’re experiencing complicated grief - these feelings last many months, without seeming to change.

It sounds like the thoughts you are having of your mum are really distressing you, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, @charlotte971, so please get in touch with one of these services.

Take good care,


Aw Charlotte I am so sorry to hear that. You need people around you and your dad should be the main one supporting you. You’re so young. I am 31 and recently lost my mother in September, her 71st birthday would have been this week. I know how you’re feeling just please know you’re not alone. Everyone will feel how we feel someday you just experienced it far too young and it will forever have a profound affect on your life, it doesn’t just go away after a set amount of time. If you haven’t done so already I’d contact your gp as it’s been 2 years they may recommend some anti depression medication, not sure your thoughts on this but it may help you? My best message is that your mum won’t be in that coffin rotting not really, her soul and spirit is free and is likely with you all the time. I’ve had many signs such as the night my mum passed my one year old sat up in bed and said bye to her gran. I’ve never been a huge believer in life after death but that done it for me, as there’s no way my baby knew her gran had just passed 30 minutes prior to her saying that that night.
Your mum loves you wherever she is and you will see her again, not for a long time. And you should live your life and do your mum proud I have no doubt she will be watching you. If you want to keep in touch let me know. I hope you’re doing okay although it doesn’t sound it right now. Christmas time is especially hard, I am not looking forward to it this year is my first without her. My daughters birthday is also near Christmas so it is a busy time supposed to be full of joy but I know it won’t be joyful this year.
Amy x