Hi, not sure why I’m typing this and I aren’t sure why I’m saying this but I lost my Mum at Christmas and everything seems a bit rubbish… I have days when I think about her and I’m ok , then there’s days when I think about her and I get a weird butterflies in the stomach feeling when I realise I’ll never see her again. I’m not great at talking to people about it… I have plenty to occupy me but then I get blindsided thinking that I’ll never see or hear her voice.
Hello pt
my Mum died on January 14th but she was so ill before Christmas we were advised by hospital staff to say our goodbyes on Christmas Day. I had taken her presents which are still unopened. I looked after my Mum as she had Alzheimer’s and dementia with Lewy Bodies and at 85 she was very frail. My dad is much more active and mentally well and needed space so it was a pleasure to look after Mum. The roles had reversed and I was the mother and she the daughter which was fine. We used to bake, sew, colour in, play dominoes and sing and dance to songs from the war years. They were such happy days. Our Christmas’s will never be the same. I am dreading Mothering Sunday. I miss her so much it actually physically hurts. Losing my lovely husband 17 days after losing her has made life almost unbearable as I feel guilty grieving for one and not the other but grief is so hard and so painful. I think the butterfly feeling is possibly dread - that feeling of knowing you will never see her again. Try putting photographs of happy times with your mum in frames round your home. Seeing them well may bring some comfort.
Take care and be gentle with yourself.