Hello there, my friends have been telling me I should talk more as I’m feeling lost inside since losing my partner/best friend on the 18th December 2025. I feel completely lost, I started off in the first week crying, emotional all of that but now I just want to hide away, I feel empty, lost, and guilty for no longer crying. I say my partner, but we actually broke up 5 years ago after a 3 year relationship… since we parted as a couple we became best friends, and other than the intimate attachment of being a couple we became life partners… we supported eachother through everything, spoke or saw eachother every day and he remained as my autistic daughters father figure, she still looked at him as a stepdad and he was just amazing at playing that part. Sorry I’m waffling now so thank you if you have read this far down x
I have fibromyalgia and the loss of Dave has left me in so much pain, I can’t sleep, I’m binge eating as it’s the only comfort I can get, can’t sleep , but I also think I’m using the food to self sabotage, I just feel so guilty for still being here, for still living, Dave was only 51, he had so many health problems and we knew it would result with him passing away but it was still such a shock when it happened. I just don’t know where to turn to? Although I’m not physically alone, I feel so alone since I lost him. I love him so much and I am in no doubt of the love he had for me and my daughter but did I say it enough? Did he know my feelings as much as I’m certain of his? I know none of you can tell me these answers as you didn’t know our relationship, but I just need to say it, as I will truly never know the answers.
Could you replace with healthier foods such as a salad or nourishing smoothies. The coping could be adapted toward a situation that is not as you describe self sabotage. It seems it helps you in some way but not in the way you want. A lot of bereaved hold blame and internalize. It becomes rigid for me and I had to accept different ways. Each to themselves.
Nothing will replace what we valued. It is a very lonely space. I am sorry and wish you healing
I’m so sorry. My husband Mark died a few days before Dave and my head is all over the place. I think it’s important not to worry if you are not crying, crying too much, not eating, eating too much, not talking, talking too much. Grief is brutal and it’s enough to just get through the day at the moment. It is very early days for us both and the pain is still very raw. We will react however we react at any given moment, and that is okay. Take care and give yourself time x
I think a lot of people agonise over things they wish they said to their partners. I came home to find my partner dead and I bitterly regret being away in the last two days of his life. I feel I didn’t tell him how much he meant to me as often as I should. We’d also been arguing and I have so much guilt. You seem to have been there for your partner and that’s what matters. I’m four and a half months into my grief journey and cry more now than before as I felt numb most of the time just after he died. It’s actually common to feel you want to be with them, I certainly did and still do at times. Look after yourself, try to eat a more healthy diet. Just take things at your own pace. Keep posting, were all in the same boat.
