I lost my sister suddenly

Hello everyone, my name is Ciara and I recently lost my sister. It’s been so traumatic, not just because she died suddenly but because I like in the UK and the rest of my family are back in Ireland. I know she is gone, but she shouldn’t have died and thats what hurts. She was 26, she had her whole life ahead of her. The reason she isn’t here with me today is because some idiot didn’t prescribe blood thinners to her when she was bed bound after a bad break in her leg. I am so angry at how everything played out.
I will never forget the horrible phone call from my mother at 4am and then the rush to find flights home. It all just happened so fast. Funerals in Ireland are done quickly (she died on the Tuesday and was cremated on the Friday) so I feel like I didn’t even get a chance for it all to sink in. It’s been 6 weeks now since she passed and I can barely get out of bed. I dream about her every night, sometimes they’re weird mundane cameos and other times Im in the hospital with her trying to revive her. This is the first death I’ve ever experienced. I just can get over the thought that I’ll never hear her laugh again.


I didn’t want to just read and leave without saying so sorry for your loss. A sudden death must be the worst. All the advice I can give is take one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. The community on here are supportive.

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Dear Ciara
I am so very sorry the loss of your sister, so very heartbreaking. I lost my 22 year old precious son suddenly in June & his brother my other precious son is absolutely devastated (we all are). I wish I had a solution for the terrible trauma & hurt we are feeling. Sending love and strength to you & your family. I understand everything you say x

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Thank you HannahB and Rach25. It’s horrible losing someone, but I do feel slightly better knowing that I have some support here.

It really is the most traumatic experience. It must be hard for you in addition to your loss that you live apart from your family. Do you have a partner/good friends supporting you? Sending hugs at this very sad time x

I am very lucky to have an amazing partner who is very supportive and lots of friends on both sides of the pond to check in with me. It is hard being far from my family, but I am heading back in October because my mother is having a knee replacement and I want to be there to give her, my dad and my brother some support. What I’m really scared about is Christmas, it’s going to be very hard for us all. We usually would have spent it together just the five of us, but this year I think it might be a good idea to see some extended family just to change things up a bit and get the support we will need.
Sending love and care back to you and yours.

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Ahhhh that’s lovely, it’s so important to have people we can rely on in these desperate times. My sister, my husband, my son & my close friends are all so incredibly supportive despite their own grief.
Like you I am dreading Christmas it has always been the 4 of us at home, very relaxed but all together. My boys are my world & I’m so very broken without my youngest precious boy :broken_heart: lots of friends are saying “you can’t think about Christmas yet” it’s hard not to though. Christmas has always been a wonderful time for us. Like you not sure what we should do for the best. Take care x

Hi Ciara and rach 23
So sorry for the loss of your sister it’s so very unfair and sad to hear of another young life lost , my son was just 23 he died 2 weeks before his 24 th birthday We’re still in shock we all loved him so much just can’t believe he’s not coming home, my daughter is 25 and struggling to live without her brother sadly their sister died 10 years ago, it’s sad but a small comfort to be able to express feelings on this site and communicate with others xx

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My sister passed away suddenly at 33 2months ago leaving behind her 2 young children. The pain is awful isn’t it. I only spoke to her the 6hrs before and she was fine. She suffered from a heart attack and although her partner got her heart started again it was too late. I live away from my family so I also feel incredibly lonely especially with all the restrictions in place. I truly hope that you find some peace xx

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Thank you for your kind words. May we both find peace and heal in time. x

I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you and your family losing two people in ten years. Sending you love and care.