Mum, I think of your lovely face all through the day. Smiling to greet me. Side-splitting laughter, all our shared jokes. Your hugs, even when you were ill and in pain. Meant everything to me.
All the messages you wrote me, sweet words that warmed me up when I was so far away from you, in bitterly cold Scotland.
And just you, the incredible woman you were…are. Brave beyond belief, fighting for others, for a better world. True artist. I’m prouder of you than you’ll ever know.
What the hell do I do now? Don’t want to live in a world without you. I’m trying to keep living, although with this agony.
Just holding on, trying to find meaning in the empty space around me.
Because I’m still your baby, even though I’m a 37 year old woman, crying and typing in this box.
I love you
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Hi Treehugger, I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum, 37 is far to young to lose a parent, I lost my Mum when I was only 41, and it seemed all wrong, you suddenly see all these people older than you, are still out enjoying life with their Mums, in fact it made me really angry, in time I suppose I adapted to it, but even now, I keep thinking of all the things she has missed, which she would have loved being a part of, but it has got easier, which I hope it will for you, sending love Jude xx
Hi Jude, thank you. It is too young and so is 41. I know people in their 40s who still have grandparents as well as parents! My mum was 37 when I was born but she left us far too soon regardless.
I still feel like I have a Mum, which makes her absence all the worse, like everyday she’s not here is a mistake. I do totally feel angry and jealous too when I see others with their mums. Not how I want to feel but unavoidable right now I guess.
I’m glad to hear things have gotten easier for you as time’s gone on. I do worry that I’ll never be able to enjoy anything again because she’s not there to share it with. I know the pain will never go but I hope in time for some healing and to use it in some way.
We’ll always be our Mums’ precious babies xx
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