Sorry to be a nuisance when other people seem to be hurting so badly but I would be so grateful for your time to listen at this moment. And your support.
The love of my life passed away last Monday morning. No warning, no goodbye just a normal morning getting ready for work. We came back from a much needed holiday the Saturday before and had a wonderful week full of love and laughter. I’m so glad we had that at least. I tried to revive him myself before the ambulance came but it wasn’t him lying there. When they eventually took him to hospital he had been without oxygen too long and his brain was dead but he was still breathing so I had to sit until the evening watching him suffer. It was excruciating and now seems unreal.
But it was real and I don’t know how I’m going to survive this. Our wedding was booked for next November and now I am having to organise his funeral. There are so many decisions and I need him to help me make them. I considered myself a strong person and I was, but only with him by my side. He was the most brilliant, kind and loving person I have ever known and I am utterly broken.
Thankyou for listening.
Im so sorry for your loss its so raw for you right now but we are all here to listen and support each other ,we are all in this together and no one is a nuisance lots of love xxx
My dear @Arvia - I am so sorry this has happened - what a blow. I will post more later here in your thread but I just wanted to send you a big hug and loads of love. You are going through so much - and you have come to the right place here as we are all grieving and we all understand xx
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my darling husband only in September, like you so very suddenly no time to say goodbye 
Sending you a big hug.
we are all here for each other on this horrible journey
much love 
Gosh, very soon to be expecting anything of yourself. Just take it hour by hour. 13 weeks for me with 10 days to get used to the idea my lovely Steve was dying. I am still so raw and broken. Everyone on here has lost their spevial person who made them complete. So many of us on here are lost souls. 
Im so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place for support. We have all lost part of ourselves and trying to cope with the loss. It is the worst pain you will ever go through and grab all the support you can. We all understand the pain and hurt and loneliness that comes with this. My husband of 54 years came home from hospital and died within a couple of hours of getting home on his birthday. Its 2 months since this happened and feels like a lifetime. Take things slowly and lean on everyone for support. We will survive this but it wont be the same. I miss him everyday. Keep posting on here, it will help. Love and hugs to you at this heartbreaking time. Xx
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain as I too lost my dearest husband so suddenly over 7 months ago and it still feels raw. The feeling of loss, sadness and loneliness is hard for anyone to deal with so please take care & try to take one day at a time. We are all here to support each other so please let out all these emotions that you are experiencing.
Sending big hugs X
Sorry for your loss Arvia, it’s devastating to lose someone so suddenly, and I know it’s very early days for you, but given time the memory of that last holiday will help you through. My husband died suddenly and the shock is horrendous. Take care of yourself, try to eat a little, rest if not sleep, and take up offers of help. Sending hugs xx
Thankyou so much to everyone who has replied or even read my message and understood. I am trying to eat, and I saw my dearest friends yesterday but they were talking and I just couldn’t make sense of the words; like my whole brain has gone to mush. But the night time is the worst. I feel like the only person that is awake. Has anyone got any advice about that? I sleep a little bit on the sofa but as soon as I come to bed I just can’t. I am constantly playing what happened on a loop in my head and I can’t seem to stop the ‘what ifs’ . I have sleeping pills from the GP but I don’t want to get reliant on them so I haven’t tried them yet. I might have to tonight to get through tomorrow; I have found the Christmas presents Alan bought me and the message labels he wrote. How can I bear that? Thankyou all so much, it is so good to be able to share a little bit without trying to ‘be brave’ and know that there are plenty who truly understand. Much love.
I initially went through exactly the same not able to eat or sleep or focus on anything! I tried to eat as much (so little) as I could just to keep me alive and for my sleepless nights I had about 1-3 hours for a while and then I started to drink herbal teas alternately throughout the day (Valarian roots, Lemon Balm & Twinnings Sleep Teas) and cut out caffeine except for the first cup of tea first thing in the morning.
It does help me to sleep better these days - not as many hours as I used to be able to when he was around but it has improved a lot! Hope it will help if you want to give it a try!
Love & hugs xx
Just sending big hugs to you all. Lost my darling husband nearly 7 months ago and I still keep getting the ‘what ifs’ thoughts at night. Life is so hard now. 50 years together so I should be thankful for that I suppose. Take care everyone. Ann x
I bought a clock which ticks because I couldn’t bear the silence, and the bed felt enormous so plenty of of cushions and pillows. I use the herbal tea too and it does help. The sleeping tablets I was given, can’t remember the name, but I felt completely spaced out the next day and unable to function, so I only took them twice. The first Xmas was hell, just be kind to yourself, do things which helps you to relax. It’s really tough this time of year, so many emotions and memories. Take care xx
Im so sorry for your loss, so sudden and unexpected. I do hope you have friends and family to support you through this. It is a long, painful journey and im only sux months in from losing the love of my life. All i can say is that i have developed a sort of numbness which is my coping strategy. That and keeping busy. I wish you please and comfort at this tragic time. X