I lost Mum on 10 November. We were on holiday in Orlando, Florida for her 70th birthday.
I don’t understand what happened. She had a pain in her neck and because she didn’t feel like eating, she was really tired. I called a doctor and they said she had a muscle spasm in her neck and was dehydrated so they prescribed painkillers and muscle relaxants and said she needed electrolytes.
A couple of days later I woke up and she was laying on the floor in the hallway of our hotel room. I called 911 but there was nothing they could do.
I’m an only child and Mum was an only child and I’m estranged from my dad (I don’t have any contact details for him or his family) so I’m on my own trying to deal with everything.
Mum and I lived together and we did everything together. I’m autistic so I don’t have anybody else. She was my support system and I’m finding it hard to cope. I miss her so much.
Hello Jiujiu
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Rhi
Hi @Jiujiu
I’m so sorry for your loss. I read your story and sadly the similarities in our stories made me feel compelled to tell you mine.
My dad too was 70 years old, he died 6 days ago. The day before he died, we (just dad and I) got back from a holiday in Florida. We spent the week in Disney World, a place he loves! He collapsed in the road whilst out walking and sadly there was nothing that could be done to save him.
Has your mum come home yet or are you both still in Florida? Hopefully you will be able to get some understanding of why she died once she is home. I found out my dads cause of death yesterday and although it makes the situation no easier, it is one less thing to fog your brain.
I am so sorry that you feel alone but I am thinking of you. Do you have any friends or work colleagues you could reach out to?
Take care x
Thank you for your message and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was able to fly home on our original flight, which was on 13th November and Mum was repatriated and returned to the UK on 19th November.
The UK Coroner had to do a post-mortem because the US death certificate didn’t have a cause of death on it because they were waiting for toxicology tests which can take 10-12 weeks.
I just found out this morning that the UK Coroner has okayed the funeral to take place next week.
I was hoping that finding out the cause of death would bring me a little closure but if anything, I feel worse. I’ve still got so many questions including why the doctor who came out to us in Orlando didn’t pick up on Mum’s condition.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager and was bullied out of my last job so I wasn’t working and Mum was supporting me financially. I haven’t got any friends to call on either because I’m autistic.
All I have are Mum’s 2 x cousins, who are also my godmothers, but one of them is on an extended holiday to visit her son and his family in New Zealand.
I am so sorry. I am an only child. I lost my father then my mother. then I was alone. I have cousins but overseas. I have had to work hard to make all new friends and get hobbies. now I seek a companion. it has been a long road. I am so very sorry for your situation. hard to fathom, I am sure. it would be wonderful to repair the relationship with your father, if at all possible. I was so depressed today being on my own. it is hard. 