I’m New Here

It seems to be the everyday things we did and can no longer do with our loved one that hurt the most, I hate going to Sainsburys now as it was our main shop, we both liked shopping together, discussing what to buy, looking at new things, seeking out a bargain.
I am not sure if it is better to avoid the everyday things or carry on doing them so that we get used to it and can cope with doing it. ?

Yes, I understand.

Rose xx

Thank you for sharing . I am over four years on this grief journey that never ends😢. My hubby was 71 and died just a few days before our Golden wedding .
There is no good time and we are never ready even after a terminal illness .
It is such early days for you and yes friends and family are supportive and caring but have their own lives too.
We learn to accept what has happened and grow around it .
I know I will never be ‘happy’ again but also accept that and try to be grateful for the years we had .
Please read and post on here as everyone understands and though we are all very different we all have something to give which is so important .
Take care :two_hearts:


Yep I am struggling with that one , do you avoid these things or hit them head on! Like I have just been on hol we booked I went with my son , I thought it would be fine as it was Jersey and we had never been before , but I was sat on the hotel balcony alone , my son not interested in that , with a glass of Prosecco thinking I would of been sat there with Nick people watching ! He would of loved the island so that upset me , July we are going to Hampton Court flower show , again we booked that because we had been there before , but I know this time I can compare and I know it will be difficult, but at the same time Nick even bought me a whole new outfit for Hampton court , and I kind of feel I owe it to him to wear it and go , but I will miss him so very much x


It is very hard doing things you would normally have done together. Sometimes I can tackle them and say go and have a coffee in one of our favourite places and other days I can’t . It is nice that your son went on holiday with you even though it wasn’t the same. I hope you can enjoy your day at Hampton Court xx

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Dear Patty 1
So sorry to hear you are having difficulty coping right now. Its 8 months since my wife of 57 years died. She has gone but she is still here with me, she is part of me, she made me what I am today. Her ashes are in a wicker urn on the chest of drawers and I talk to her every day, actually several times a day. I know it is hard to carry on but I encourage myself by thinking what she would want me to do, and it is not to be despondent but to make the most of life that is left to me. To love life is to love her.
I do not suggest you do the same but given time you will, given time, find your own way of coping. Believe me you will, be brave. Best wishes Hopefully1


What a beautiful thing to write

To love life is to love her.

Rose x

Hi RoseGarden
I wish I could take credit for those words but I must confess they are from a Donna Ashworth poem, but I believe them to be true.
Her book of poems “Loss” is well worth reading.

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