Its just over 6 weeks since i lost my husband suddenly and @Jackiepadders i struggle at night so much, i dont have anything that smells of him everything smelt of fabric conditioner. I dont go to bed till im exhausted and even then i cant sleep without him there. I even bought brand new bedding but that didnt help, i woke up yesterday with my head on his pillow and cuddling it like i was cuddling him. I havent found any way to cope yet, started counselling today but i know it will a long haul.
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@Reluctantred it’s so hard, the nights. Keep doing what you’re doing, I treasure every memory and every tear, every smell, even though I feel shit and it’s emotional. I’m 14 weeks in now and the evenings are no easier. I just want him back, home, here with me, as it was. Xx
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I feel for you, it is so very hard to come to terms with losing our beloved husbands/wives/partners.
It’s been almost six months for me and I’d like to think I’m coping better, but the deep grief and heartache is still there on an hourly and daily basis and probably will be for a long time. I do manage to have good talks and laughs with friends when we meet up, and then find myself crying again as soon as I’m in the car and driving home. So many difficult emotions to navigate and an unexpected thought or memory can send me plunging back to the depths again.
Sending love and hope to you. and to all on this very sad journey 
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It is so hard. You think youre ok and then wham. Missing them again. I was crying a lot yesterday. Don’t even know why ? Think it was simply that i felt so alone without him … i.miss that reassurance he gave me. He was a good laugh too. So tough. Xxx
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I know what you mean, Deb. I’ve been back in the black hole for a week and only because a friend mentioned going to the monthly Sunday market that my Al and I used to love. I had this sort of flashback of him walking around at the market and in the end I stayed home and cried most of the day and following days.
It is so unlike me, this sort of avoiding behaviour, but I guess I haven’t lost the most important person in my life before either
Hope the rest of the week improves for you and there’s some sunshine amongst the dark clouds Anne xx (AVA is my initials)
PS Like you, I so miss his sense of humour as well.
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Thank you honey for your kind words. I had my puppy speyed this week and she is doing really well - i just missed him being here to reassure me. Made me feel so alone. In those early days i used to have visions of him walking down the road … they were so strong … its a hard road we have to tread … i just get fed up some days with it all … its not fair we don’t have them here for us … but baby steps as they say! Need to take some of my own advice and stop putting so much pressure on myself xx
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I think we can be really hard on ourselves. I constantly think I should be doing this or that or even worse IF I had done this or that. Like things aren’t difficult enough why do we beat ourselves up. I am trying to be kinder to myself but easier said than done. Love to you all this Saturday evening. Xx
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