Hello everyone that’s replied to my messages. Thank you for your help and support. I really do appreciated it.
Right now please bear with me my head is all over the place especially today as I have had phone call from the endoscopy nurse discussing what’s happening next this time next week. I am so so scared it really is the not knowing of what’s going on with my body.
I have been in touch with macmillan cancer and they were great help and they are going to be there if I got diagnosed of types of cancer. I know they will be there to support if the worst comes to the worst.
All I know is until the diagnosis result is given to me then I am not going to think it’s down to luck or it’s down to a miracle I can’t think that way. I’m trying to think positive it’s not that easy
I’m close to to the end of this nightmare I’m living I just got to hold on to whatever hope there is.
Best wishes to all
I’m am so pleased you contacted Macmillan your now not doing this alone.
I know you must be frightened, my husband was when he had a endoscopy and a colonoscopy, but the nurses and doctors are really lovely and kind helping you through the procedures.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers going through this difficult time, there is always hope.
Sending love
Debbie xx
Hello all on Wednesday and Friday I have both tests and I’m losing weight at a very fast pace but I’ve had time to think about this.
There’s a saying come what may. I have lost over 4 stone in weight in a few weeks I look at myself I’m not the fat person im I used to be im this new person all 10 stone of me and it’s weird a nice weird to see this thin person What I wouldn’t give when I was so much younger to lose all this weight but not this quick. No what I see really scares me I don’t like it to think this could be cancer but if it is I’m going to fight it
You don’t know how pleased I’m am you said your going to fight this. We are all with you, the road ahead is going to be bumpy and you will need all the support you can get from Macmillan and your family.
Sending love and a big hug, you can do this for yourself, your dad, daughter and partner but most of all your mum, she will always be fighting in your corner.
Your in my prayers Steven
Love Debbie xx
Please keep us up to date Steven, we are all routing for you and hoping for the best.
Hello well the good news so far is I don’t have one type of cancer but I’m now waiting on having a ct scan and the result of biopsy
Good news and fingers 
for your other results.
Debbie xx
Hi Steven
I have been following your topic with interest and I notice (perhaps I am wrong) that in the early days you had no hope and didn’t care about your life but in your latter posts I get the impression that you are now starting to fight or why else would you be seeking out support.
Going through over ten years with my husband and Cancer I can confirm that having the right attitude to life can help along with finding out about the foods and vitamins that are very useful. My husband had ten years of extra life because we took his care into our own hands after receiving no help from the NHS or Macmillan.
I see in one of your posts you say you will refuse treatment. That of course is your decision but please don’t say you don’t care if you do get cancer because I doubt you know what you are wishing for. My husband fought hard for years and he said in the beginning that he would live for as long as he could and as well as he could, and he did. What should have been months went into years. So never say never.
I wish you well Steven, I really do.
@Pattidot Wish my husband could of had the chance to fight his cancer. He was never diagnosed. He died suddenly a few months ago. Was so shocked to find out that he had cancer. Though a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism killed him which was caused by the cancer. My husband was only 53 and our future plans and dreams have been taken away 
To be honest I’ve had a very minute taste of what it must be like for people waiting to hear they have cancer and it’s horrible it’s like all your nightmares in one go so much worse once you get diagnosis. Knowing I have been given the clear is one hell of a relief but I’m not out of the woods. The biopsy hasn’t come back yet but as it’s been 4 days since they did it I think I’m in the clear. Okay it’s a bank holiday weekend and I tell be delaying my result but let’s say by Tuesday I haven’t heard anything I should be okay. I still have to have a ct scan but I’m positive I’ll get through this horrible wait once and for all. There is one thing I do believe my mum is looking after me
Of course she is Steven. Don’t ever doubt that. Take this time as a chance to have fresh hope for life. You are not getting your wish thank goodness.
Pat
xx
I still don’t want to be here that willl never change while my mum isn’t here.
No I’ll never doubt it. My mum is with me whatever I do and wherever I go and she’ll be with me when I’m gone