Hello all it looks like I might be getting my wish to be with my mum.
Recently I found out I have to go for a test for two types of cancer I’ll go and have them not that it matters. If I do have both types then at least I’ll get to be with my mum I lost. There really isn’t any point In going for both tests. My life isn’t the same without my mum
Best wishes to all
6 Likes
Oh Steven, I’m so sorry to hear this, nothing I can say will ease the turmoil you are in. But I do hope for your sake there is a treatment for you.
I know you want to be with your mum. I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to not keeping fighting. Your dad and partner would be heart broken if they lost you too.
Sending love and hugs
Debbie xx
1 Like
I know they would be heartbroken but my wanting to be with my mum is paramount nothing will change my mind and as for treatment I’ll refuse it to quicken being with my mum
For over 6 years I’ve waited patiently to be with my mum. I have listened to well intentioned people say how sorry they are for my loss I’m sick of hearing it from people I know. Nothing takes away the pain of grief nothing ever will only being at peace will get me what I want.
Thanks for your kind words
6 Likes
I can see you are determined and nothing will change your mind. I know what your feeling because I want to be with my husband as many of us do with our loved ones.
You are right nothing takes away the pain of grief and other people’s well intentioned comments don’t help.
I have a son who is probably about your age, he is struggling since his dad died. But as a mum I would be devastated if anything happen to him or my daughter as they would be if anything happened to me.
Just keep posting and talking to us here that do understand.
Love Debbie xx
4 Likes
I haven’t had my diagnosis but j do know one thing im not very well and I honestly do not care if I do get cancer. I don’t have no reason to care. As long as I get what I want that is all I care about.
Thank you for your reply
2 Likes
I’m not going to give up on your Steven, your in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care
Love Debbie xx
1 Like
Well I’m a very determined person once I make my mind up nothing makes me change my mind
2 Likes
I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. It’s a fact of life for some people that when they lose their mum they no longer wish to be alive anymore.
2 Likes
Hi yes you were lucky but I’m not as lucky as you I do have my dad I don’t want to bother him with what’s happening to me and I don’t feel I can rely on my partner for support I don’t live with her.
After finding out today I do have to go for more a further test for bowel cancer i am preparing myself for the worst and when it does come I’ll be putting into effect my plan.
I know it makes you sad but that’s the way it is.
Thank you for your help
3 Likes
You don’t need to live with your partner to have her support. When my mam died I hadn’t been with my partner for long at all and didn’t live with him but I still had his support and he helped me through it. Now I’ve lost him I have no idea how to get through this.
How old are you? How long have you been with your partner? Do you see her often? Do you live near eachother and stay over at eachothers houses etc?
1 Like
Hello. You have me at a disadvantage what’s your name? I’m 57 years old and no I don’t see my partner as much as I’d like she’s always busy with her grand daughter and I’ve been with her 16 years and I’m only 5 miles away from her.
Well I’m glad you had that support. Some of us don’t have the support they want.
Best wishes
2 Likes
Well I guess like most people someone to talk to I thought that’s what this forum.
I am 57 years old but I’m sorry I don’t really like to talk about myself. No I don’t really have anyone to help me in my personal life
Thanks for your interest
2 Likes
Hi Steven
I have been following your posts for a while and realise you are really struggling with losing your mum by what you have said before. You are little older than I thought. I just wish you had someone to talk to in your circle of family and friends.
But as you said above this forum is for us to talk to each other and give support. That is what we are trying to do, to give you support now you are not well. What ever the medical results are just keep posting and talking to us.
We want to be there for you.
Sending love
Debbie xx
1 Like
I know exactly what it’ll do to my dad but he has my daughter living with us. He’ll be fine.
Today I found out I have to go for another bowel screening test. I have two cancer tests to deal with for two different cancers in the same week.
What anyone says that you need help to face it what no one who doesn’t have to have cancer tests the last thing Is to be told obvious. I am well aware I need help and support but where is the help and support when you do have to face it on your own. Because that’s exactly it i will have to face it on my own. I’ll bet every person who’s been through this has so many upsetting thoughts going through their head like I have right this now. What I wouldn’t give right now to talk to my mum because I know her reassuring voice would get me through this no one else can like your mum
I hate what this is doing to me and I hate the thoughts in my head.
I thank everyone on here who’s offering help
3 Likes
Oh Steven, can I say that your brain seems to be running on overdrive with everything that’s going on, right now. I saw how my husband’s illness and death (aged 62) affected his Dad…losing one of your own at anytime, is so very hard to bear and I for one don’t think that he would be fine without you.
Once you know you if and what you are facing, there are many ways in which you can be supported. I send strength and understanding as I am sure many others on here do too, kindest regards, x
1 Like
What about your daughter if anything happened to you? She’d be left feeling exactly like you are now. You say your dad and daughter would have eachother but what would happen to your daughter if anything happened to your dad?
It’s the people you leave behind that would suffer the consequences so if you don’t feel like you want to live for yourself just think about your family.
I know exactly how you are feeling. My mam died when I was 21, my grandparents died when I was a child, my father has never been around and now my partner has died. I have nobody to live for and honestly I feel exactly the same as you but you have your dad, daughter and partner to think of. You might not feel like you get the support you would like from them but I wish I had a dad, daughter and partner right now.
5 Likes
Oh Steven, I can see the turmoil you are in. I seem to remember from previous posts you have a responsible career where your the one used to being in control. This has hit you for six you can’t control your diagnose.
Like @LostLil, @Lonely and @Rainbow said, you need your dad, partner and your daughter, it’s time to let them in. It’s a natural reaction when your not well or troubled to want your mum but she is not here the rest of your family are and they love you and would be heartbroken if you were not.
My husband was given a life expectancy and he had many tests and procedures, he got through them because he had us as support, me our daughter and son. You can’t do this on your own. No wonder your head is all over the place. Please don’t face this alone talk to someone.
Sending love
Debbie x
4 Likes
Hi Steven
I lost my husband suddenly aged 67 in September 2021. My parents who had been married 61 years died just over 14 months apart both aged 88 in 2013/14. I miss them all every day, especially my lovely husband but know my family would be devastated to lose me too.
My daughter said ‘I don’t want to be an orphan’ after my husband died. She’ll be 30 in June. It doesn’t matter how old they are, your dad and daughter will miss you forever. If not for yourself fight for them. I think you need to talk and express how you’re feeling to your family, GP and others so they can help you.
We’re all rooting for you.
Sandra
2 Likes
Hi Steven you are lucky to have your mum in your life for so long. I lost my husband at the age of 53 and my son is only 22. We are absolutely broken. We should of had another 25/30 years of my hard working lovely husband. Please think of your family… unfortunately my husband suddenly died and had no choice. Life is so unfair and cruel. Hugs.
6 Likes
That’s very true. I wish I’d got to the age of 57 before I lost my mam and my partner. I’d have another 19 years with them. Oh what I’d give for that 
3 Likes