Hi @kyberpast
This Christmas is going to be painful for so many of us
We werectogether for 42 years
I talk to my husband constantly. Out loud or in my head if I’m in company. I also write to him everyday
It helps me
We will all be here for each other at Christmas to help each other through
Take care
Liz x x
Hi @Pooka1968
Your loss is so close and really raw. I am nearly 10 months in but the pain is still horrendous. The missing is the worst.
We were together 42 years
Roger was taken into hospital a year ago today. We were given the news on Christmas Eve that it was cancer
I felt like you and would have spent the day alone but my daughter was having none of it.
I will however wake alone and the thought of that brings me to tears.
I will be thinking of you on Christmas day and my heart will go out to you and everyone else struggling to get through
Sending big hugs
Liz x x
Please take care as well
Liz, I am so sorry to read your words. I hope that time with your daughter over Christmas brings a comfort. What shattering news to hear on Christmas eve. I will be thinking of you on Christmas Day also and everyone else struggling through’ . I feel it is easier to express my thoughts and feelings here than to family as they just want me better" and that is a huge expectation on top of the grief I am feeling.
We all understand each others pain on here
Like no one who hasn’t been through this ever can
They want us to be ‘better’ because they don’t know what to say.
The support I’ve had from everyone on this forum has helped me through some very dark times.
I like to think that I can be here to help too.
I will be thinking of you at Christmas and always
Love and hugs
Liz x x
I am also a little further in my journey it’s just under 14 months since I lost my wife. Last Christmas I think I got through it in a daze and somehow convinced myself that once through the many milestones we have to travel (birthdays, anniversary’s ) I thought things would somehow get better. Now my head is a bit clearer it’s not the case I finding Christmas very hard to put my “smiley face” on as we all tend to do when asked how we are. I miss looking for special cards that would show how we felt about each other. I miss looking for that special present that would put a big smile on her face.
I’m so sorry you still feel that way. But I’m
not surprised.
To be honest I can’t see a time when I won’t feel the way I feel now.
People who haven’t been through it will not understand so I suppose I will have to put on an act for them.
This is why this forum is so invaluable because we can be honest and everyone does understand.
Sending a big hug
Liz x x
I think putting an act on’ might be a way’ to respond. People can’t seem to handle any authentic truth, they can’t pack it neatly away. Thank goodness for this forum too xx
Even when your support system is there, its not the same as the support from your partner. I remember my friends abd and family saying “you’ve got us” which i DO appreciate, but as you said, people are busy. The silence that comes with losing a partner is terrible and is mot understood by many. I could go weeks without talking to someone other than my work colleagues.
I can relate to how not having a check up call or when you have news to share or a win you want to share, thats when grief hits. Thats when its silent.
Ive improved this by going out more, even things like regular walks can lead to conversations, and its good for physical and mental health.
Have you looked at cruise bereavement. They helpedy mum, when we lost my dad. From a childs perspective i found then usful. They did trips out & had a centre with toys, so we hung out with other families, played with other kids going through the same. Not sure what they offer now, but I’d recommend it. It helped me & my mum found it helped her too.
I agree Derek G