This widow-lark really sucks, doesn’t it?
I have an ok day now and then before it all comes crashing down again.
I miss everything about my old life. Maybe if we had not been so satisfied with just each other it would be less devastating now. We spent each and every day together, never going out on our own. So, not many friends, the ones we had have moved away, he didn’t have any family, most of mine have died.
I really miss cuddles in bed, and I do just mean cuddles. How I loved snuggling down in bed with him. He used to laugh because when I was asleep I would put a hand or foot out just to make sure he was still there. Apparently I talk in my sleep.
Now I sleep on his side of the bed, cuddle one of his pillows and put the other one against my back. Nobody to put my cold feet on, nobody to tell me they love me.
I have made a few new friends, all of them are widows. We sit and commiserate and understand our mutual pain. My son is very supportive and visits often. I have my lovely daughter, she gives the best cuddles. I am very fortunate. I live in a nice house and I think things will be ok financially, although it’s still early days.
But, at the end of the day, I go to bed alone, and I hate it.
Xx
I dont have a partner but i miss the regular hugs mum and i would share every time we saw each other. Ive been going a reiki therapy session once a month since Mum died and it struck me that it was the only physical contact I’d had with another human for that entire month. 
Asides from the relationship aspects of cuddles/hugs with loved ones, physical touch in itself i think is a very healing, soothing thing. 
Yes Ally, the physical contact is something that lifts you immediately doesn’t it!
After my husband died last year I drove each day the 10 minutes to my daughter’s house to look after Romeo the dog whilst she was out at meetings etc and he died last month - I can’t believe I’m still crying about him every day, as I realise he’s been the one to keep me going. Many people don’t understand the love for dogs (Damien fortunately did❤️), but cuddling Romeo and talking to him made me feel so much batter, and now I’m not needed to go over there each day, the loneliness is awful.
However, on a brighter note, my daughter was going away for a few days yesterday and invited me over for a quick bite to eat. As I was leaving she gave me a massive hug, and I drove home feeling much better!
Weekends, I know, are hard for most of us - I’m sending you a big hug, and hope your weekend goes ok.
Lots of love X
Thank you @Eden1. I will have a man running his hands through my hair today, unfortunately hes happily married, hes my hairdresser, and ill have to pay for the privilege! 
Having your hair done is always nice and gives you a little lift - and it’s also nice to be able to chat to your hairdresset! Happy new hairdo! 
xx