I have just lost my loving wife 5 days ago and struggling so much being in the house which we built together its agony just sitting in there everything has a memory, she was diagnosed with stage4 lung cancer which had spread to the brain in 2018 and was given eighteen months to live but she was so positve we got to seven years after so many kinds of treatments chemo, radiotherapy our life was consumed by cancer, its so cruel as we had so many plans ahead of us and cancer took that away and my happiness. I am lost and cant cope thinking she will come back, how do you deal with this heartbreaking grief it hurts so much, i try to be strong for her and try to sort things out but just cant family have gone back to there young family lives so im all alone in the house, so please someone please tell me this pain will go away and there is a way forward as i cannot cope, thank you for readingā¦x
So sorry for your loss Alan. 
I lost my wife on the 8th March 2025 and Iām sorry to say, the pain doesnāt go away. Others here will attest to that. However many say you do get to learn to live with the grief.
An old friend of mine pointed me to this video by Willie Nelson that helped me.
Chat to others here and also join the Sunday Zoom meetings run by @KarenF
Talking does help
Take care
Thank johnr
Really sorry for your loss.
You are going through the worst grief and loss you will ever experience JohnR is quite right it does not go away but will lessen with time but grief is such a strong emotion it will be a long process.
It is now eleven weeks and I am still crying every day but compared to the first few weeks it is now tolerable the grief is still there and always will be but that is the price we pay for the love we have lost it is unfortunate that the more we love the greater the feeling of loss.
I am sorry that I do not have an instant cure for what you are feeling at the moment but hang in there, keep coming to these forums and communicating with people as we are all going through the same as you, everybody here understands and will tell you the truth no and help in any way they can.
Thank you Johnf and yes its unbearable i have never felt pain and emptiness in my stomach so bad it will just come and go.
Alan. O my 5 days Iām so very sorry for your loss my friend, given time things just seem to feel better. Grief is a horrible emotion to be put in. But rest assured you will get better given time. Keep yourself busy even if you donāt want to , talking to people on this site will help you get through the grief easier. There are lots of people with helpful advice. My heart 
and blessings go with you.
Dear Alan, I lost my partner the love of my life 11 days ago I truly feel your pain. Iām also alone at home with his all things around me. Itās hard, really hardā¦I hope it will be easier, Iām worried about future about winter days, Christmas without him. The pain is unbearable and I still donāt believe this is true 
It is the unfortunate side effect of love and loss in one word grief, it is the cruelest of emotions at this level and I feel your pain and emptiness as I have been there and to a certain extent am still there but it does ease a bit with time, you will think you are having good days and then something will trigger a wave of grief but it does subside reasonably quickly.
I wish there was a magic pill to help, the only healer is time and from what I have been told even then it never leaves you but does become bearable but I suppose this is the price we pay for love we felt for our partners.
Stick with it and keep talking on here writing down your thoughts and emotions which I have found helped me no end one thing is for sure nobody here will criticise anything you say all you will ever get is understanding.
Hi justnap
Thaks for your reply sounds like we are in the same tough boat, hope to you
Thank you johnf
Hello Alan
So sorry for your loss, and for the agony and pain you are experiencing.
Grief is the price we pay for our love, the initial pain may ease in time, but I think the grief will stay with me forever.
As others have said, it helps to keep busy, but itās so early for you, that I imagine you wonāt feel like doing things.
I send my love, talk with others on here, we all understand how you feel.
Look after yourself as much as you can xx
Thank you so much
I feel your pain,Iām 2 and a half years after losing my wife and living in the house we shared for 40 odd years. Yesterday I took the battery out of the watch that I bought her one Christmas many years ago,if you leave a dead battery in a watch it will corrode and ruin the watch, it upset me knowing that her watch will never run again.
Everything in the house invokes memories of our times together, I still eat my food off the tray that she served the first meal she ever cooked me, I never thought anything about it, then when she died it became a constant reminder of the beginning of our life together.
When I butter my toast her voice is in my head telling me ādonāt make a hole in the middle of the butterā sometimes it makes me smile but mostly makes me miserable.
Things do get easier but you will have many ups and downs,when I open a cupboard or drawer and come upon something of my wifeās, even if I know itās there, it makes me sad, if I didnāt know it was there it makes me feel terrible.
Best wishes.
12 days hereā¦slowly went back to work, doing things at my speed. So difficult, another day and the whole world feels so lonely, Iām writing with tears in my eyes, been holding them for hours now. Trying to stay strong outside, but inside Iām such a mess. I miss him so much.
People will tell you to āstay strongā this is the wrong advice in my opinion, you need to let grief break you, you are not the same person you were when your loved one was with you, grief smashes you to pieces and you have to somehow rebuild yourself and your life.
Nothing is as it was, nothing, friends seem like strangers, places where you both used to go together can seem like a nightmare.
Even after all this time I feel like grief is a form of madness that we all suffer from and we need to gradually get back to reality.
Go easy on yourself.
So sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, i lost my husband to stage 4 lung cancer in november 2023. It came as such a shock and as you say family go back to their own lives. Im told just go with the sadness its normal. Then let it stay for a while and let it it go. It will come back again but do the same. Thats helped me. Being honest with my feelings and not fighting them. Do something good for yourself, or make a memory book of all the good times you had. It will take time to get used to this new life, im still trying.
Thanks Linda and sorry for your loss as well.
Iāve certainly started being honest with my feelings. When people ask how I am, I used to say not too bad. I know say exactly how I am, without boring them too much.
I am having a break next week in Snowdonia, so hopefully some walking and scenery will help.
You take care.
Enjoy, and people shouldnt be bored im sure they understand.
Thanks Linda
Perhaps they are more shocked than bored.
They expect me to say ānot too badā
You take care
Hello Alan,
I am so sorry for your loss.My dear wife died in february of a rare blood condition.She had not been well fr a while but it was such a shock.She was due to go to the consultant end of febrary but never did.She passed awy here at home in the living room.I rang 999 but it was too late when they got here.I blame myself Alan i should have done more.Why didnt the doctors and consultant tell me how ill she was.I have gone back to work but coming back to the empty house is awfull.Take care Alan,we all understand how you must be feeling.I keep asking myself why?it feels part of my life has gone.its so so difficult