I miss him so much

I thought I was immune.i thought I’d be ok .I knew he was terminal I knew he could have a while .he is my brother and he passed the 18th Jan 2021 .I’m angry not at him at every1 else my husband is taking most of it I snap I shout I feel alone .I always looked out for my brother as he was born with spinal befita he had a really tough life and then at 56 MND a evil disease He was a fighter and I was behind him every step of the way .great memories were made .but I’m empty lost and feel so alone .

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Hi Mal, I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother at such a young age, anger is a very normal reaction to grief, I don’t think there is many people who haven’t felt it after the loss of a loved one, I know I certainly felt it after the death of both my husband and mother, they both died far too early, it does pass, even now I still feel annoyed, it’s when I see couples much older than we would have been, still together and having a lovely time, just accept how you feel it will pass and I’m sure your husband understands, talk to him and explain how you feel, the main thing is be kind to yourself and try and remember the good times you had together, sending love Jude x

Thanx Jude for your kind words.i know its early days and things will ease .just miss him so much and sometimes it’s a little easier to vent .my husband is so good he doesn’t deserve any of my anger .1 day at a time .xx

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Yesturday my brother in law had a seizure he has epilepsy he came round then went to the bathroom and had another and got his head stuck and suffocated my sister found him dead . 32 years old wirh 3 children . I had only been back a day after spending a week with them with my
Children . Last year my aunty ended her life it was as a year last Saturday . How will this pain ever go how will anything ever be normal . My children loved him I loved him my sister finally found happiness after the most horrendous life they were getting married her daughter had a daddy for the first time and it’s gone how do you ever get this image of your head how do you deal with this pain how do you support your autistic child and your 4 year old . I’ve never felt so much pain in my whole life I’ve never felt so devestated he was to young to go