My partner died 2 weeks ago on holiday, a holiday we booked at the start of the year, and we’d been so looking forward to. He became ill, went to hospital and he died in intensive care. He was a healthy 47 year old man, with his whole life still ahead of him. His death has left me and our ten year old, and his two older kids, as well as family and friends, with no idea how we’re going to go on without him. I don’t even know why he died, there was nothing wrong with him and then the next minute he was gone. Two weeks on and we can’t even arrange the funeral because we had to wait to fly him home and we’re now waiting for the coroner to do another autopsy (there was one done there) before they can release him. I feel lost and broken and I just want him back. It doesn’t feel real, even though I know it is. I just want to wake up from this awful nightmare and have him back with me. I can’t stop crying and I just miss him so so much.
Oh Jess I am truly sorry for you. The same thing happened to me 19 weeks ago. We were on holiday and my beloved partner collapsed and passed away suddenly. He wasn’t ill and didn’t take any medication at all.
You will be in shock. Just take things hour by hour, try and eat something and rest when you can. And if you find yourself sitting staring into space for hours, then that’s fine too.
It’s such a strange time as the world continues to go on and it’s like you are an onlooker and not part of it anymore.
Keep posting - everyone on here understands. You can say anything and no one judges you. It’s been a lifeline for me.
Sending you a big hug 
Thanks for replying Jody, and I’m so sorry to hear you lost your partner too in the same way. I just can’t make sense of it, we went on holiday as three and came back as two. Everything feels wrong.
Jess and Jody, I feel for you both. Losing your partner in such tragic circumstances is so awful.
My fit and healthy husband had a cardiac arrest the evening we came home from a short break. It was a terrible shock, but to have to go through what you both experienced on top of the loss is heartbreaking.
I wish I could hug you both. Xx
Thanks Willow
I really need that today
I follow your posts and don’t underestimate how challenging your life is too. And there are times when you make me laugh out loud which always cheers me up. Thank you and thanks for caring xx
Thank you Willow, and I’m so sorry for your loss too.