My partner died 9th Jan suddenly and unexpectedly (he wasn’t unwell) He was only 44 and a fit and healthy guy. I’m left alone with 2 children 1 of which has complex needs and it’s so hard. My children are the only reason I’m still going because all i can think about is how I don’t want to be here without him.
People told me it will get easier after the funeral when I have time to process my grief but they were so very wrong the funeral was Friday and the last 2 days have been the worst. Despite being surrounded by fantastic family and friends I feel so lost and lonely without him.
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So sorry to hear that and so young. I lost my husband a couple of years ago now, has it been that long, but he was 63. It’s a myth it gets better after the funeral. Your emotions and days will go up and down for a while, you just have to let yourself cry and scream when you want to, it’s normal.
Gail
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What a traumatic experience you’ve had to deal with.
Your all over the place with thoughts, having the children will help giving you a focus in life. Your where I was five months ago when i lost my sister and then my wife four days later,sister collapsed with brain bleed beside my wife’s bed in hospital. My wife had pancreatic cancer that had spread to her liver only had six weeks with her.
I think councilling will be the way forward for you. Cruse is one there’s many more.
It will get easier but not fast as you would like highs and lows. Let the tears flow i found it eased but only temporary.
Anytime your feeling low (i know your feeling that all the time) come on this site there will be some of the others who can help you along.
Take care thoughts are with you. 
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I am so sorry for your loss, such a young age and such a shock for you. Very difficult with 2 children. I understand that your focus is on them but please look after yourself too. I lost my partner of 20 years not quite a month ago. My heart goes out to you. If you can, try coming here as much as you can, I find that it helps me and I hope that support from others on here will help you to. Just take one day at a time xx