Good evening all. I feel so low. I miss my hubby so much. I looked after him at home. He passed away at home. I knew it was going to happen. I just never realised how much i would miss him. I hate shopping for 1. I miss his laugh, his smile. His sarky comments
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Sorry for your loss
I lost my partner to colon cancer and also nursed her through end of life at home so can relate
After the dust has settled, the deafening silence and emptiness of living life alone are hardest parts
Stay strong
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Thank you for those words. He was never a man of many words, but i know what you mean by the silence. It feels like silence and bereavement silence are two completely different things. I still walk around the flat asking him things. When I wash up I tell him to stop laughing at me. I hate washing the grill pan up. He always did that for me. It’s walking into the empty flat after been shopping. He use to work nights. I have woke up a couple of times, and thought, another late one. He’s not home yet.
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You do what you have to, to cope
The first few months, I dealt with it that she was just away for a bit and kept house obsessively identical to the day she died, as if she could walk through the door at any moment
I even ironed some of her t shirts
Do whatever you have to, to get through the day
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I’m starting to decorate the flat. We often spoke of that. I’ve started to put the new flat pack furniture together we bought while he was still able to help choose what he liked. I’m going to get the carpet we had chosen together. I know he will not be here to see them, but they are what we chose, and I love them anyway. I’m also starting to slowly go through his things and put memory boxes together for the great grandsons. One will be 5 in July the other one will be 3 in December.
They didn’t get to know him, doing it is also helping me. I have got his daughter, 2 granddaughters and the 2 great grandsons a keyring. It has his picture on and some words I can hear him saying to them.
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Keeping busy is best thing you can do
I spent the first few months after funeral putting together various memorials in her honour - a memorial bench and memorial tree in her favourite park, interment of her ashes and headstone in the graveyard where she had her funeral, casting keepsakes in resin moulds
I think that helped me during those dark first few months and gave me sense of purpose
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I have a memorial chair in the grounds of the complex we live in. He didn’t want a funeral. He had what he called "click and collect ".
I’ve got some funeral jewellery - keyrings - to put some of his ashes in.
I’m going to Scotland in May on a coach trip, with a friend. She lost her hubby 33 hours before I lost mine. I’m taking some of his ashes. Taking him to where his parents came from
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Myjica
I could have written that for me. We have similar experiences. I nursed my husband at home we knew it was coming. I was not prepared for what has come after.
I miss his smile his touch his support his voice . His VOICE .
October 2023 aged 58 yrs . 40 years of marriage and 2 years dating .
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My hubby was 64. We would be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary this year. He died 2 months before his 65th birthday. On my birthday - the day before our wedding anniversary- we would have been together 19 years.
He died 1 month and 1 day before his great grandson’s 2nd birthday.
I’m glad I had him at home. If he was in hospital I would not have had the time with him. I don’t drive due to Epilepsy. I do have a lovely final memory. He had lost the ability to have a conversation. About 3 hours before he passed away. I made him comfortable. He looked me in the eye and told me he loved me. I will never forget that, even though thinking of it breaks my heart it also gives me comfort
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Hello mags22 so sorry for your loss my husband was rushed to A&E and put on a ward for his last few hours we were told he had, he had a very bad infection and was in and out of consciousness but not long before he passed he looked at me I told him I loved him and he said he loved me we kissed and he never gained consciousness again and that is in my heart forever and my final memory 
you take great care
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