I miss my mom so much

I lost my mom on 28th December, it was such a shock. Although she had been in hospital two weeks before with confusion/low BP/low oxygen, the hospital discharged her as ‘medically fit’.
We had Christmas together, all the family, but mom still wasn’t herself, but she was of her own mind to refuse to go back to hospital.
I was helping her get dressed and up and about on Boxing Day and then the following day I went to do the same, but she wasn’t really responding to me, and her breathing suddenly sounded really loud and raspy/crackly, so I called an ambulance as she was having some kind of seizure, she got blue lighted into resus and I was told that once she was stabilised she would go to a ward, so I came home to get her some clothes.
I had only been home for 5 minutes and the doctor called and said to come straight back as she had taken a turn for the worse, less than 24hrs after being rushed in she had gone.
She tested positive for covid and had developed an awful pneumonia (not sure when) but it was just so quick.
Iv been on auto pilot since it happened trying to arrange and sort everything, and we now have my dad living with me and my husband as he doesn’t want to be on his own.
I cry nearly every day, I just want her back. I can’t stop playing the whole 24 hours over in my head, being angry, confused, sad, guilty.


I am sorry for the sudden loss of your mother.

death can be like that: coming in an instant. it is all shocking and no matter, we are rarely prepared for such a catastrophic event.

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Hi Lucy,

I’m very sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad who I adore on 15th November 2022. My dad passed away two months after a cancer recurrence. There was no time that get our hads around what was happening before dad was gone. I still can’t believe that he could go from being so fit and able to passing away in a matter of weeks.

I moved in with my parents when I found out dad was ill and provided support. I took time off work and our whole lives have been turned upside down. My mum and dad were married for 50 years and my mum is lost without dad and is now staying with me at my house which is a huge adjustment.

I still experience the feelings of anger, confusion and guilt on a daily basis. I am keeping myself busy but the sadness looms heavy and everything feels like an uphill battle. Nothing seems to come easy anymore I used to be a happy person and felt like I had a sense of purpose and now I feel lost. I cry everyday but some days (today) feel much more difficult and the sadness just feels completley overwhelming. I don’t expect this to change anytime soon. I love and miss my dad so much.

Losing a parent is a terrible and profound shock. You are not alone.

Take care

Thanks both for the reply.
I thought I was so doing surprisingly well, but I feel like I’m struggling now, I can’t stop replaying things in my head and I just keep crying.
I just want her back, I wish I could have saved her.
I know people say I’m here if you need me, but I don’t want to be a burden to people.
If people ask me how I am and I just say I’m fine!
And I know it sounds selfish but everyone just seems to carry on as if nothing happened yet my world is crumbling.
I’m trying to be strong and carry on but I think time is taking it’s toll

Hi Lucy

I’m so sorry for the loss you have suffered
I lost my own mother 4 weeks ago she had been ill for several years with COPD and she had been diagnosed with brittle bones she had several falls in the last year resulting in broken bones
Her health got worse since last November and when I went to see her 9 days before her passing I was not looking at the mum I knew in my heart she was not long for this earth and sadly she got worse until on the 8th of February I got a call from my Brother that the end was near I met him at the hospital to talk to the drs but I went to see mum first and as soon as I walked in I knew that I was not leaving the hospital that day with my mum still with us and sadly 4 hours later she gained her angel wings as she passed peacefully I was with her as she went and I was the hardest moment of my life I had been preparing for a while but when it happened it was the worst thing to ever happen

I hope you can take comfort like I do that our parents are no longer suffering and it will take a long time to come to terms with the loss if you can but I send you my thoughts and prayers at this sad time

Yours sincerely


Hi I lost my Mum just before Christmas. She went into hospital with shortness of breath 3 weeks before. I keep going over in my head all the time. I dont feel the same person I was before i lost her, taking each day as it comes. I’m so grateful that we had her in our lives for so long, but wished we could have had her for longer. Miss her so much

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