I miss my Mum so much

Hello. My Mum died seven weeks ago and I am finding everything so difficult to cope with. I miss her so much, it keeps hitting me like a tidal wave and I don’t know how to deal with it as there is no way of dealing with it. My Mum and I were very close and she was so special and unique. She was 83 but didn’t act like an 83 year old at all and was really fit and healthy until last summer when she started to feel unwell and was eventually diagnosed in October with MDS/leukaemia. There was nothing that could be done to help her but she was strong and positive. Her passing was very unexpected but thankfully, she was at home and I was with her and it was very peaceful. I am so grateful for this as I know so many people have lost their loved ones in hospital and not been able to be with them. However, it feels to me as if she was stolen from me suddenly and I think this is enhancing the sense of shock and disbelief. My partner’s father died a month ago so we are both dealing with grief but in very different ways and it makes it very difficult to be there for each other. I do have supportive friends but I don’t know where to start with how I feel. My life has changed beyond all recognition and I feel so lost.

I’m sorry you lost your Mum. I do know how it feels, as I lost my Mum too suddenlly 16 months ago. She had a heart attack and pneumonia.
You are in the very early stages of grief, so try and look after yourself.

I made sure I ate well, as grief is physically draining. I also found going to bed an hour earlier helped with poor nights sleep.
To be honest, I think we will always miss our loved ones, but one day it will feel less raw.
Take care.

1 Like

Thank you, Daffy123. I’m sorry for your loss.

I always knew that losing my Mum would be hard but I never realised that grief could be so all consuming and impact on every single thing that you do. It also changes your view of so many things and I feel like a different person with a different life - one that I don’t like. Right now I can’t see any way around the grief or any way through it.

You take care too.

I can relate to everything you’ve said here. I would have been lost without this forum.
Take care.

1 Like

You are experiencing exactly the same thing as me.
The grief is overwhelming. It is 9 weeks since I lost my mum, not to COVID , she got to 100 years old and was admitted to hospital with a supposed urine infection.
She fought for 16 days in agony , and it has hugely traumatised me . People say that it gets easier, although I’m not finding that. We were devoted .

I am so sorry for your loss

I loss my mum and partner all within 9 months of each other
I was numb and so angry for a long time
David was only 49 and my mum had just turned 70
I couldn’t talk to anybody about my grief as I had to be strong to support others
So I started to write in a journal
I could put anything in it as if I was talking to them
How I was feeling that day positive or negative thoughts
At the beginning I would write in it every single day
It helped me calm down I felt they were with me
I still write in it today
I hope this helps
Sending my love

1 Like

Hello Scottie10

I am so sorry for your losses.

I am keeping a diary - well it’s a notebook that I wrote all the things in that I wanted to say at my Mum’s funeral. It’s now turned into a diary/memory book - when I have memories of my Mum or remember funny things she said or did, I write them in there to keep them treasured. I have found that I’m remembering things I haven’t thought about for years and it’s almost like sharing them with her again, but not quite. I have found it helpful and will continue to do it. I don’t necessarily write in it every day but when I need to, it’s there, usually several times a week.

I hope you are OK and have some support now. I find this forum has been invaluable.

Love to you too x

Hi. I just read your post. I am sorry for your losses. There was a year and 2 days between my mum and my partner of 20 years. My partner was 49 also. I like your idea of keeping a journal. I think I will try that to see if I can deal with the devastation I feel. Thank you