It’s hard to know where to start with something like this but having seem some of the stories on here, this feels like a very safe space…
I lost my Mum to Cancer - May 2018, thankfully for us this wasn’t sudden, Mum stayed with us for around a year after she was diagnosed. Chemo completely changed my Mum and I knew around a week or 2 prior to her passing, she’d had enough. She wasn’t her laughing, joking, outgoing self anymore and that’s kind of a way I trick my brain into thinking she was ready but I know there is soooo much more she’d have wanted to be around for.
I don’t struggle with the here and now often as I take it day by day (I cry around 3 times a day now as apposed to my usual 5 ) but I do really struggle with what the future holds and Mum not being here to witness my first child, my wedding day, me passing my driving test.
I know other people find this element of loosing a parent or anybody for that matter difficult, it’s hard imagining certain things without special people there.
This is the first forum I have joined and the first place I’ve ever come to, to discuss missing my Mum. Thank you for creating a safe space.
I’m sorry to read that you lost your mum so young and that she will miss out on so many things. I lost my mum last year when I was 48. I was lucky that my mum had seen me enjoy a 30 year career and had brought up my 12 year old daughter with me, but there is still so much we had planned together. She was only 74 and I thought she would live to her 90s.
When I was 27 my dad died of a sudden heart attack.
He has missed out on my last 22 years, becoming a grandad etc.
It’s very hard.
I cant really say anything to help other than just to let you know you arent alone.
I’m so sorry to hear about your parents and I am so so glad your daughter has lots of memories to cherish with your mum and that your mum helped you raise your daughter, that is beautiful.
I see it has been sometime since the passing of your dad but you seem like you’ve really push through with having your daughter and such a long life career. You should be so proud and thank you for sharing your story with me, it is nice to know I’m not allow.
When my dad died I still had my mum and I tried hard to make her proud. Now she is gone I am very demotivated and struggle to achieve much some days.
I do work full time and that helps. I’m sorry you had to watch your mum suffer. My mum had a mini stroke just 11 days before she died of a massive brain hemorrhage. Before that she was fit, well and happy.
Unfortunately my dad suffered with cancer for a long time before the heart attack took him.
How are you feeling today x
It’s unfair your Mum was taken so soon after this was discovered, especially with her being fit and healthy! You sound like such a strong lady.
I have a lot of unmotivated days, especially with everything happening with the world currently and I recently lost my job but I have just been accepted for another role with another company which I’m thrilled about. I got into the repetitive cycle of waking up, staying in bed all day and binge watching series I’d already watched but I read a book by Vex King “Good Vibes, Good Life” which lead me to start meditating and going on small walks even for 10 minutes just to get up and out, I’ve even started working out if you can call it that just for 30 mins a day to keep my mind ticking. Just some little tips on trying to stay busy! See what works for you.
How’s your week been so far? Feels the weeks are flying by.
Pleased you are finding ways to cope.
Exercise definitely helps me although I do find solace in a glass or two of wine.
I find long walks and runs really help.
I know its been 16 months since I lost my mum and it’s not very encouraging for those who have recently suffered their losses but I don’t find time has helped much tbh.
I’m glad you are finding ways of getting through. It is still early days x
I lost my mum in Feb. It was very sudden and she was fit and healthy and two days before she told me that she had never felt better and how happy she was.
I cry all the time. My biggest sadness is that she won’t see my kids grow up. She loved them dearly but had struggled for a few years before her death with PSTD from things that had happened to her when she was younger. She had come to terms with all this and was so looking forward to life and her grandchildren.
I’m thankful she met them all and that my oldest will remember her. They use to go swimming every Wednesday.
I keep reminding myself of how much she taught me so in some way she will be in my kids life xxx
It’s the suddenness of it all isnt it?
My mum lived with us, did all my childcare, helped with my daughters homework, we all went out together shopping, lunch, day trips.
I thought we had 20 more years together and suddenly she was gone. I suffer very sad and depressed days particularly when I am on rest days from work.
If you dont mind saying, what took your mum so suddenly?
I’ve not had a great week. I’ve been particularly sad the last two days. The worst days are when I’m off work as my mum and I would do housework together, go shopping, have lunch and watch something good on TV with a glass of wine. I miss being with her so much and am still in disbelief 16 months on.
It’s unfair for all of us. X
A year today since I lost my Darling Mum, I feel I have short changed her in the grieving stakes due to losing my Husband suddenly three weeks after her. When something so awful happens you just want your Mum don’t you? but now I don’t have her either, aint life a bitch
Hi there Mrs Colt. Thought I’d join you on the 1st anniversary of your lovely Mum passing away. It’s six years for my Mum today. I miss her beautiful smile, the twinkle in her sky blue eyes, the way she listened, her never ending practical advice and most of all, her hugs filled with unconditional love. Mum was the one who got me through the saddest of times, when having children was no longer a dream for us two. She wasn’t there when my beautiful husband became seriously ill with encephalitis six months later. They’re together now, wherever that may be, along with my Dad and my husband’s Mum. Maybe you’ll join with me in having ‘just a small sherry’ this evening with heartfelt memories of our super Mums, take care, xx
I’m thinking of you both today, Vanda and rainbow, you’re so right V, life’s a bitch xx
Bless you Rainbow your Mum sounds a lot like mine was, our go to person is no longer here and it takes a while to process. I will indeed join you in raising a glass to our wonderful, irreplaceable Mums cheers x
Thanks for that Steph, kindest wishes, xx
Mrs Colt & Rainbow. Thinking of you both today
I really do thank you both for sharing your stories on here. It’s so comforting X
Hi Cheryl. So sorry you’ve had a bad few days. I find wine also helps for me lol. Currently doing Sober October, never thought I’d be able to do it but nearly over now!! Definitely missing the evening glass or 2.
I agree with you it’s the days off and time to over think I struggle with the most. X
Thank you Dulceta, we are all in it together