Hello,
My mum passed away 8 weeks and 4 days ago. She was my bestest friend in this world. My mum was diagnosed with a Rare brain terminal illness in December 2021. Although I knew this was going to happen I still can’t accept it. I cared for my mum along with my sisters. My mum was only 54 , she deserved more. She deserved to live. This journey for me is only getting worse. I can’t see what the point in life is anymore. My mum was my everything! And it hurts so much to know I cant see her. I call out for her everyday, hoping she’s going to walk through that door. I have no motivation for life anymore, I rarely go in to work I always call sick (surprised I have a job left) , I don’t speak to anyone except my sisters and Aunty. I stay in bed all day without showering or looking after myself… I can’t eat, I am sick numerous times every morning, I have lost nearly 2 stone and it is making me feel even more depressed and upset because I know my mum wouldn’t want this but I am finding it to hard to cope. I just want my mum and my heart is broken.
Jodie, sorry for your loss. Your mum was not that much older than me and yes taken too soon. I can’t imagine how my son would be and he is only 12. I lost mine end of December and the loss is like nothing else I have ever experienced. You do what you can to get through this and don’t put any pressure on yourself. This site has been good for me as you can let people know how you feel that are going through the same.
Take care
Valda xx
Hi Jodie,
I’m very sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad three months ago, shortly after a cancer diagnosis. My dad and I were extremely close and my mum and I cared for him throughout his illness.
It is extremely difficult to watch a loved one deteriorate from a terminal illness and even though we know what the outcome will be it is still a terrible shock and loss to lose them. I still can’t comprehend how my dad could deteriorate and pass away so quickly and the fact that he is no longer here just doesn’t seem possible. It’s like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.
I also feel like my grief and sadness has got worse. I am struggling with the finality of losing my dad and I think as each week passes I feel like I’m moving further away from him (have struggled with feeling like I’m leaving him behind since I lost him).
I feel completely lost and life has lost meaning. I just don’t care about things as much as I used to and I am struggling to find any joy or hope. The councellor that I have spoken to has said my grief is still very raw. In the scheme of having my dad for my life time, 3 months is a short period of time to try and adjust to such a profound loss.
I cry a lot throughout the day and feel particularly sad at night. My dad would hate me being upset and this sometimes makes me feel like I’m letting him down. I try to keep myself busy each day and I find that doing things that I know my dad would like makes me feel closer to him.
I hope you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You have suffered a profound loss and there is no manual on how to navigate grieg. Sometimes all we can do is try and get through the day an hour or a minute at a time.
Sending love.
Xx