I miss my sister so much

Hi Ian-I’ve followed many of your heartbreaking posts about your dear Jayne. I am equally sorry to hear that you also lost a sibling. My sister who died in 2018, was also the youngest (baby). The pain of loss defies age, gender, or relationship. On this site, I see a common theme in everyone’s losses. When we lose someone who illuminated our world, that world goes dark. Nothing seems the same, because it is not,
You had Jayne, with her kind and loving touch, to ease you through your grief. I had my Sister by my side when we watched our Mom deteriorate, and finally succumb to lung cancer in 2012, We lifted each other, and agreed we never would have gotten through it without each other, Now like you need Jayne, I need my Sister. I keep saying, only she would be able to help me deal with this loss, but she is the one who is gone. I wonder why I was left here.
You did not “drone on.” Thank you for sharing your story with us. Wishing you, and everyone, strength to get through another day. Sister2 Xxx

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hi Sister2
thank you for your kind words,sorry you lost your sister.And yes its really hard coping especially when its the one person you could rely on for support , love and help to get you through any situation and tragedy that was heartbreaking to us,thats now gone from your life.
like some on here im just muddling along going blindly into a very unknown and sad future.
ian x

Ian, Clare, Sister2 thank you so much for your posts, how my heart aches for you all. I intended to write a longer post last time but was so overwhelmed with the pain of it all that day there seemed to be no point. I know, however, that there is a point, there is a reason we come together. We are all struggling with the pain of losing such an essential part of our lives and some days the longing for that loved one just becomes too much to bear. I can only thank you all for sharing your stories and hope that some time, somehow, we will all find a little comfort in knowing that we have loved and been so very loved in return. XXXX

Sister2, Clare, Ian, all of your posts are so sad and reflect much of the pain, loss and helplessness that we are all going through. I have started to feel that I am living some sort of parallel life, that my old life with Kate in it is still out there somewhere if only I could just reach out and get it back. I was looking through Christmas stuff recently and found a gift card with her writing on ‘A little something for you to open, Love always and forever Kate’ and it sent me into a complete melt down. How do we get through Christmas without these special people in our lives? I can only suppose it’s the same way we get through every other day, a minute, an hour at a time. I truly hope you will all be with other loving, caring people over Christmas and, though it will never be the same, that it will be the best it can possibly be for you. XXXX

Hello Everyone-I agree with Agmo. I also see my life as “before” and “after” my loss. I grieve not only my beloved Sister, but also the person I was prior to losing her. That is why I enjoy those dreams where she visits, because in them my sister (and sometimes my Mother) and myself are all together, and I feel so secure and as if none of this ever happened. Then I awake to realize it did happen, and I am alone again. The waking nightmare begins where the sleeping dream ends.
I used to love Christmas because my sister brought such joy to the Season, She had a way of making everything so special. Now it is just another painful reminder of all I’ve lost. Our lives are forever changed. I am grateful we will have this site to turn to for support during the difficult days ahead. Any one can always PM me any time as well. I hardly sleep any more. My heart goes out to all of you.
:broken_heart: Sister2 Xxx

Sister2, you are so right that we are forever changed within our lives and within ourselves when we lose someone so close to us. Nothing seems the same to me any more, even the most mundane of things, shopping, eating, going out for coffee, it’s all done in a mechanical way. I used to do all the mundane things with Kate and they were anything but that in her company. So there is definitely a ‘before and after’ in my life now too and I sympathise so very much with your yearning for that old life back again. Cherish those dreams. XX

Sister2, I have tried to ‘private message’ you with no success. You were the first person to reach out to me on here and the kindness and understanding I received from you on that first desperate day will stay with me always. I have thought about you over the Christmas period knowing how memories of happier times will have been brought to your mind as they have to mine. I hope with all my heart that the happy times you shared with your beloved sister have brought you some peace. XXXX

Hi Agmo-I was concerned about you, I received a private message from you but it was a blank page :face_with_raised_eyebrow: Therefore it was a relief to hear from you, and know you are still on the site. Thank you for posting, and offering such kind words. It touched my heart. :heavy_heart_exclamation:
Christmas was bittersweet. I relived so many of the lovely times I shared with my sister, but soon it was all replaced with the harsh reality, that I will never share another Christmas (or any time) with her again. I am just not ready to accept a life without her sparkling light. I know you must be hurting too, and I am always here to listen. We have a lot in common, as there are not many on this site who lost a sister/sibling. Post again and let us know how you are getting on. With caring thoughts, Xxxx Sister2

Hi Clare-Thinking of you and how you got through Christmas. I know you must have felt that emptiness left by not having your beloved brother there to share it with. I felt the same. I was not able to find my Christmas spirit without my sister there to spread her joy. Our siblings were part of our past holidays, and we create a lifetime of memories. It is so hard to accept that there will be no more memories to build upon now, I hope you are coping as best as possible. Here if you need to vent, XxxSister2

Hi @agmo1986 and @Sister2 i was reading all your posts and it connected so much. I had no one to share about my sister madhu. Even if i tell to someone no one could understand what’s its like. I miss her so much. Even getting out from bed is so hard. After my sister died my dog scooby was supportive for me and my parents. But he went to madhu within one yr, but i am happy because i know madhu isn’t alone without me. Scooby is there for her, scooby was like our brother. He behaved more like a human than a dog. Home doesn’t feel same without them. It’s empty. Every time there would be screams, laughter, fighting, giggling of us three. We three used to make big mess. And get scolding from parents. But now everything is quite and clean. My grandparents are dying of oldage, when am lying near them sometimes at night i used to wakeup and check if they are breathing. Seeing my parents getting old makes me realize one day i will be standing alone and i wont have my family with me scares me alot. I really don’t know what to do. I just hope one day somewhat something will be fine

Hi Stars, So sorry for your loss. I am also sorry to hear your dog passed on so soon after, A pet is a family member. and the grief can be just as intense when we lose them. The fears of losing those we love is normal, but often those fears can rob us of the present time we have with our loved ones. After our Mum died, I only wanted to be with my younger Sister. I doted on her, worried about her, tried to keep her safe, and prayed we would grow old together. But then almost three years ago, she developed cancer and tragically I lost her too. I have not been the same since. The only comfort comes by knowing she is now with my Mum and they are healthy & whole. (just like Scooby is with Mandu) We must cherish the people close to us and see our time with them as a gift. I am glad you are sharing your grief here on the forum. Take care and post again. Sending warm, supportive thoughts to you in your time of sadness. Xxxx Another Sad Sister :broken_heart:

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@Sister2 thanks for your words and support. It’s really a relief speaking with someone who can connect. Am so sorry for what your going through. Sending you support and love too from another sister :green_heart: