I miss my son so much

I know so many of you will unfortunately understand this. I wake up in the morning with such anxiety and feel the adrenaline pumping through me and feel that crushing feeling of facing another day without my boy. There is nothing that compares to this and I can not believe the life I have been left with and am trying to navigate a way through. This is the ultimate nightmare that you can never wake up from and induces me to panic if I allow myself to feel the loss. I keep picturing him in my head,I look for him although I know rationally that I am fooling myself and I would give anything to spend 5 minutes with him and talk to him, hold him and just be happy in his company. How can this be life now? How can I face a future without him? It is 5 months today that he died and I just miss him so much and my heart aches with longing. Life is so cruel. Sending love out to everyone on here that is suffering. I shall get dressed get out and put on a brave face and carry on and I do quite a good at this but it never goes away and I can never find peace. He was such a caring gentle funny boy who was loved by so many people. I hope he knew that. Wishing everyone courage to face another day big hugs xx

1 Like

So sorry for your loss. I understand your sadness and yearning for your precious boy.
I am told it does get better but I want to scream ’ better for who?’ It cannot get better for our children can it? It’s not about us. It’s about them and we cannot fix it but let’s hope we find some peace for them, and for us. Somehow we will carry them forward with us in our hearts.
Love and hugs to all who are grieving. Xxx

So terribly sad that they will not experience all the things you wish for your child. He had so much to live for and I grieve for the future he will not have. Some days I still can’t believe this awful thing could have happened and other days it is so painfully real. Love to you and thank you for your reply x

:frowning: Sorry for your pain.
I can honestly say I feel every word you said.
My heart breaks…I can’t say anything more.

I am so very sad and sorry to hear about your special boy. I too lost my daughter aged 5 suddenly and without warning a month ago. I cannot believe this has happened. My happy life turned upside down in a second. I am so angry, panicky and utterly devastated. I want to cuddle and kiss my baby. I feel no one understands. How do we get through this? Thinking of you xx

Hi Kezza I have only just seen your message. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. It must make you question everything and ask why do these cruel things happen. I understand your feelings of panic and complete devastation. It is such early days for you as it is still for me and the thought of never seeing our beautiful children again let alone touch cuddle and caress is too much to contemplate. The feeling of overwhelming loss is just too much at times so I try to look no further than today. Some days are better than others but I can’t imagine not feeling this intense longing to see my son again. I am not sure how we get through this but we are somehow and even though there is no end to the pain we shall hopefully in time live alongside it without feeling the intense crushing sense of loss that we are feeling now. In meantime knowing others feel the same and understand does help to lighten the load even though I wish non of us had to experience this. Sending warmest of wishes and strength to face another day xxx