Hi all , some off you know I lost my mum 3 January 2018 I also losted my grandad and my uncle in the February 2018 . I am finding it very hard I’m going counciling . And today I got told I have a lots of hate in me also anger . And they want me to go and see a bereavement counciler but I’m very confused because in my eyes I dont need somebody to tell me that my mum is not here because I feel it ever minute of the . Can some please if you dont mind explan to what they for . I told her that all I want is my mum . And my life is not the same thanks x
So sorry to hear that you are in a bad place right now. To lose three family members so close together was terrible timing and no one can expect to recover quickly…time is a strange thing…in some ways a year seems like a lifetime away but in other ways it could have been yesterday. Your mum was probably one of the most important facets of your life and in losing her you have also lost your closest confidante and friend so it is no wonder you are confused. Perhaps the video service on this site might be worth a try if bereavement counselling has been suggested? You mention anger…that often comes with grief but it will pass. As for hate…we all hate what has happened to us but as time goes on you will understand that life has many seasons which we have to move through and angst will turn to acceptance as this journey unfolds…please believe that you are strong enough to see this through…it is one of the most difficult things you will do but there is help so take it if it is offered…it is a sign of strength not weakness!
I wish I could tell you that you will feel better soon…we never forget the pain but somehow we get better at handling it. Keep posting and reading here because everyone understands…there is also a site called What’s your Grief that might be of use…many of us have benefitted from it.
Please take care…be kind to yourself and those you love who are still with you…my thoughts are with you x
Hi. Trigger. A bereavement counsellor will not tell you about your sad loss, that’s all too apparent, but can help by allowing you to express your feelings and emotions in a confidential atmosphere. If, as you say, someone has told you that you hate and are angry, (very common in bereavement!), they can explain why and may help you to get back on track. Now I am not minimising your suffering, God knows I have been there and still am. My wife died last November and I’m having emotional problems. I am lucky in that I live in a community and get a lot of help. But none of us should try to 'go it alone unless we really feel we can cope that way. There’s so much help available these days. I know, some people want to be alone at such times and that’s their choice and has to be respected, but in general we do need help at such a sad and difficult time. To be able to talk about how we feel to an understanding person can help a lot. But they must be understanding. You will soon know if they understand or not! Blessings to you and I do hope you will soon see some light, but it takes time.
Thank you amelie’sgran x
Sorry for your loss Jonathan, and thank you take care.